Thursday, April 01, 2010

Fat girl on girl action.

All right my homies.

Today we're talking first time girl on girl sex, featuring one fat lady and one not so fat lady who want some advice about stuff.

Our lovely bi lady said this in a nutshell (identifying stuff was removed by me beacuse she's shy)

We shall call our homie Shylady.

Shylady let me know that she is dating her first girlfriend and that they are about ready to get it on and she's super nervous. She also wants to know a little more specifically if there's anything she should be thinking about because she is a fat lady and her girl is not and she needs some reassurance.

First thing HOT DAYUM stand right up Shylady and do a victory dance. Congratulations on having your first girlfriend that is fucking awesome.

Next thing take a big long deep breath, sit down and relax.

Let's get one thing out of the way.

If your new gf was not into you, and into your fat booty than you probably wouldn't have needed to ask this question.

So to answer your unasked question, you are a hot fat piece of ass baby. I'm certain if you ask your girlfriend will say the same thing.

Onto some logical things.

If you are planning your special night here are some things I would have on hand.

If you are going to have toys and whatnot have lube handy. If you want to be extra super awesome as a girlfriend, ask your lady what kind she prefers. Hell be even more awesome and if she has lube she likes invite her to bring it along.

If you plan on using toys get rubbers. Even if you've both been tested it's the polite and awesome thing to do. And it's another thing you two can talk about and maybe even do together.

See where I'm going here?

If you are planning your night of awesome girl on girl action, do it together.

Go shopping together.

Head to your local adult toystore and go crazy. Get lube, get rubbers, if you're feeling super spunky maybe you two can chip in on an awesome new toy to use together.

Now other things to do pre-doing it date. (And this part is also helpful for anyone who's dating or plans on doing the sex with someone who has biological lady parts)

Prior to your date either go get or give yourself a manicure. Make sure you don't have any hangnails, sharp edged nails etc. Until you know your partner really well err on the side of caution.

I say this because some ladies enjoy a little bite so to speak with nails in their pussy region some don't. If in doubt ask and show your girl your nails so she can judge.

Next thing to do, realize that things are not going to be soft focused Skinomax perfection.

You're going to bump noses when you try to kiss, someone might get their pubes pulled by accident, you might drop your toys on the floor, fall out of bed, fart etc. Stuff happens and it's okay.

Be open to laughing at yourself. Even first time sexy things do not have to be serious business. Sex is funny, it really is.

Humans make weird faces, weird noises, we say random things in the throes of orgasm and it's okay.

Don't let your nervousness eat up your excitement. I know that being with a girl for the first time can be super intimidating. Just remember, if she wasn't all about you she would not be getting into your bed.

As for techniques- do not do stuff you've seen in mainstream porn.

I will repeat that for the whole class.

Do not use mainstream porn as your go to area for what is hot.

Instead of doing that for you Shy I would say first think about how you like to be touched and touch your lady that way. And ask her.

Yes ask.

Regardless of what culture may say you're supposed to do (oh it's natural between women blablabla) ask her.

The thing is that female sexual response is as varied as there are varying sorts of women types.

Some women like a lot of penetration and a little other stimulation, some women can climax from nipple stimulation alone, some women might crawl all over you after you nibble a certain spot on their neck.

Being that you two have never had sex, don't put pressure on yourself to somehow magically know what she wants and how to satisfy her.

If you want to prolong the foreplay try talking about your sexual wants and needs before you plan on having sex.

It doesn't have to be phone sex level sexy but even the conversation can be a good tingle inducing warm up.

Remember you two my darlings are in charge. You got the wheel and I suggest driving it however you wanna.

Now I open the floor to all my lady lovin (or been lady loved) readers.

Have advice?

Share in the squee?

Tell a funny story?

If you guys are super nice I will tell you a funny story that involves me trying to be all Vagina Monologue's awesome, a fall and a sprain.

Trufax my darlings.

The big move/relaunch is coming along.

I have got BIG BIG plans and I'm having to slow myself down so I don't get overwhelmed and whatnot.

With that I leave you with this.

Remember my homies, I think that you are Mother Fucking Christmas. And I love you.

Go forth and frolic.

Homo Out.


Trabbs said...

Oh Shannon, I love you so much! What I wouldn't have given for advice like yours when I was starting out so shy and scared way, way back when. Thanks so much for being you.

Anonymous said...

Followed a link over from Shakesville. I really liked this part: You're going to bump noses when you try to kiss, someone might get their pubes pulled by accident, you might drop your toys on the floor, fall out of bed, fart etc. Stuff happens and it's okay.

Oh, yeah. And in the long run, those can be some of the best memories. The very first time my sweetie and I kissed, we were so eager our front teeth banged together. Now it's one of the memories that makes me feel warm and happy whenever I think of it.

[Posting anonymously because when I try to use my LJ ID, I get a message saying "OpenID error". I'm Lexica510 at LiveJournal, fwiw.]

Anonymous said...

Shylady, hooray! What I wanna say is let your gf touch you wherever she wants, and let yourself enjoy it. I'm also fat and when I was first having sexytimes I was shy letting my girl touch me on my butt or belly because I thought that she would not enjoy touching my fat. But it felt good, and she really liked my skin and making me feel good, and I missed out on a lot of feeling good because I was too shy! Like Shannon said, she is with you because of YOU, and she does not wish to be touching anyone but YOU.

Have a wonderful time and don't forget to laugh!

Anonymous II said...

To add to what Anonymous said above, yes enjoy being touched and know that your girl is loving your softness. There is nothing as heavenly as touching and holding and loving a fat woman.

Léa said...

I have a bit of problem with the "let her touch you whereever she wants advice", because I had some quite uncomfortable sex before I was able to say "not there", or "slow down", when I didn't like something...

Anonymous said...

I would like to ++ times a million the advice to talk, talk, TALK about it -- before, during, and after. Yes, your face will get red. Yes, you might stutter a little. But I have it on good authority that these attributes are adorable, and the only way to get better at sexy talk is to practice. And I agree 100% with Anon II: Talking is not just for you to find out what she likes, but for you to let her know what YOU like. This is an experience you should BOTH enjoy. Don't worry about hurting her feelings by telling her you'd rather she touch you a different way. She's into you, and she wants to make you feel good as much as you want her to feel good. Sometimes the journey toward those incoherent moans of ecstasy is as much fun as actually eliciting them.

Also: I agree that mainstream porn is pretty lousy, but there is really (I mean REALLY) good lesbian erotica out there. Something else to shop for in tandem?

Anonymous said...

Whoops, I meant I was agreeing with Léa.

JeninCanada said...

^___^ Good luck, Shylady and partner! I hope it's awesome and fun for you both.

Haddayr said...

oh, how I adore your beautiful, loving, affirming sex advice.


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