Thursday, June 03, 2010

Oh no...Ooooh snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

I saw this video of a fat girl dancing from um..some dance show I dunno I don't watch it, anyway I saw this video over at Fatshionista, also read Lesley's entry here.

I really enjoyed watching this young lady dance and was reminded of a conversation I had with someone not all that long ago.

Now the woman I was talking to for reference is right around my ageish (33 or so), far thinner than I am, works in a casual office situation like I do. So we have a few things in common.

I see this woman every now and then and saw her a few weeks ago and we rode the bus home together. We were talking about petty office annoyances and she had said something about the water not being replaced. I mentioned that when ours is empty I put a new one on and she was shocked.

Not because oh hey you're a girl but because yep, I'm fat.

Despite the fact that she has seen (and remarked upon) seeing Uniballer and I walking all over, schlepping shitloads of things home she like lots of other people simply cannot parse the idea that someone can be fat and reasonably or very fit.

It's the same kind of thing that causes it to be shocking that someone finds or wants to have sex with someone fat.

This is why if someone says (all too often) "I prefer a chubby girl" or whatever euphemism they inject people go, oh shit oh SHIT OH SHIT FETISH FETISH FETISH!

I have seen it even from fat women (I'm especially talking about women here) that when someone expresses interest or flat out I don't know you but I think you're hot in a let's get naked kind of way (which is in my view a perfectly normal thing, humans sometimes just wanna touch other humans genitals) that immediately there's the question of oh are you a weirdo? Are you some fetishist looking for a thrill?

Lots of fat women get suspicious and often afraid when someone expresses lusty desire for them because we as humans are so inundated with the idea that a fat woman can't be sexy, can't be someone that another person will look at and go DAYUM YEAH.

We are conditioned to somehow despite massive amounts of evidence to the contrary that only certain kinds of people are acceptible to have lusty feelings for. That if you are going to express a want of someone who is outside of that sphere than one must have a fetish.

One must have some kind of issues to say, hey I think you are fantastic and you give me the special tingle.

The fact and for once I will absolutely stand by this as mother fucking fact, there are lots of fat people who are giving other people the special tingle then commencing some serious fucking.

I will also say that I believe it is not possible that every person who is having sex with a fat person is some kind of weirdo fetishist.

I also do not believe that every fat woman who is having sex out there is somehow settling because they are of course less than and must not have standards.

Fuck that.

I fully believe that it's entirely possible and probable to find all sorts of bodies desirable and that there is not a thing wrong with that.

Furthermore, I'd like to venture that if someone has a preference this does not turn it into a weird fetish.

When people say Oh I love redheads no one starts pointing and getting over excited accusing that person of having some freaky fetish.

No one argues when it's not about a non-standardized body.

If you take little else from this here are the high points.

1.) I do not believe that it's necessary to to keep othering sexual desire of fat people. Women in particular.

2.) I do not believe that fat people (again women in particular) are served by believing that they are the other and therefor anyone who shows marked sexual interest in them must be somehow weird in a not awesome way.

3.) I fully believe that it behooves humanity at large to learn the difference between an attraction and a fetish.

Now, I hate that I am fairly certain that this must be said but, none of this is giving the greenlight for anyone to be disrespectful or shitty.

What I mean is that while I yes believe that it's natural and good to have sexual desire for folks, it's not awesome to make the focus of that desire uncomfortable.

In other words, don't send strangers messages on picture sites, blogs etc that just say HEY LET"S FUCK.

Lots of people don't like that so don't do it.

Now go forth, frolic. Do some fuckin' if you want to and be safe doing it.

Now if you'll excuse me I have writing to do.

Homo Out.

PS..speaking of writing I'm putting together some files of my short short fiction to make available for download. I'll post links when I'm done.


Anonymous said...

Lots of fat women get suspicious and often afraid when someone expresses lusty desire for them because we as humans are so inundated with the idea that a fat woman can't be sexy, can't be someone that another person will look at and go DAYUM YEAH.

I have totally been there.

I am totally glad I'm not there anymore.

witchyvixen said...


Was having a talk with another fat girl, discussing my sometimes boyfriend. I mentioned the website where we met and she was curious. Told her there are an abundance of websites devoted to the lovers of fat. She said, "isn't that kind of... y'know... sick?"


I asked her how it was any different from a guy preferring blonds, or being really into Latinas, or having a thing for tall women, or big boobs, or any of the other things men and women are attracted too. You like what you like. You can't exactly help what flips your switch.

She agreed with me but I could tell she wasn't really convinced. She's still into the self loathing and diet punishment. That's her choice, I just wish she knew that.

acceptancewoman said...

Fuck yeah.

Subscribe To My Podcast