Some shit is pissing me off.
The number one thing right this second is the fact that every time I decide I'm going to be frugal with my beauty dollars and I want some liquid foundation I have to go all over Hell and back to buy foundation.
Generally speaking if I want to have more than a 1 brand 3 shades (if I'm lucky) I have to go to at least three or four stores. Being that we don't have a car and rely on our feet and buses this can translate into hours.
Today there were three stores and just one brand. Luckily at the last store I found -something- suitable but it wasn't really what I wanted or needed. I had several different formulas/brands that I know come in browns suitable for me but nope. Apparently despite there being a lot of brown people in my neighborhood, the only people who want to buy foundation (make up here kids) are those who are Tan or lighter.
Now the excuse I'm given every time I complain is that there isn't a market here. I call bullshit based simply on how fast most of the better products for Black hair sell out. Who the fuck is buying that if it's not Black folks?
It's one of the things about living in Seattle that bugs me. And it's happened in the last four neighborhoods I've lived in.
So because of this I have to order online which is costlier even from low end brands but I will probably end up with the wrong shade. Or I can wind up having to spend 20-30$ on something that works.
I hate that. I hate that something so fucking simple is such a hassle.
I won't even go into trying to find the better Black hair care products that I like to use.
I am really over the surprise and whatnot that goes along with me being perfectly fine saying I'm a fat fatty fat fat fat.
Recently I contacted a couple of sellers on LJ from various communities and said something like this,
I would really love to shop at your shop/journal/etc since you advertise "plus" sizes in your ad/header/whatever. However, on actually looking you don't have any "plus" sizes. Please have a look at some plus size retailers, most are not going to list things with a 30-32" waist as plus size. To be frank that sort of thing pisses off us fat shoppers.
That's not verbatim but you get what I'm saying. 90% of these folks (I went on a tear and sent about twenty of these emails) were a.)shocked that I said the F-word and b.) had no clue what the fuck I was talking about.
I get it. We're all poor everyone has a hustle but for FUCK SAKE if you are going to be an etailer of whatever flavor please understand that if you're a size xs that does not make a size L plus size.
As I have said before, do a fucking google search for plus size retailers and look at their size charts for an idea as to what plus size might be.
Also, if I say I am a fat shopper I mean I'm a fat fucking shopper.
One last thing.
I really really fucking hate the "Real Women yadda yadda" everything.
Women for the record come in a lot of shapes, sizes, degrees of femininity and everything. Can we fucking stop it?
I realize that especially if you're just coming to accept your body it seems like the best thing ever but, honestly you don't need to marginalize other bodies because your body has been marginalized.
Putting someone in the corner because they have a bony ass or no tits etc is just not good for any of us and reinforces the idea that in order for women to be happy we must hate each other.
I swear to fluffy bunnies that it is SO much easier to love yourself if you can love and appreciate other people.
It is SO much easier to live in your body in an autonomous awesome fashion if you give that freedom to other people by not marginalizing them.
If you want to keep your ass in a size 0 that is fantastic.
If you want to keep your ass in a size 32 that is fantastic.
It's even more fantastic if you can do those things without causing undue harm to yourself because I think you're pretty awesome and I'd hate to see you suffering.
Instead of looking at say a fashion spread or outfit post and think of all the ways that persons body is better/different than yours, try thinking (yes it will have to be a conscious effort at first) holy shit this person is awesome.
For me practicing this at some point probably a decade ago just became natural to me.
I look at a lot of fashion blogs etc and I for damn sure don't see a lot of body twins and that's okay.
The person in the picture is not me and I should not expect them to look like me.
I think if what women want is empowerment take it.
Give yourself the power to rise above the petty bullshit that's expected of women.
We are expected to be envious and bitchy about each other.
How awesome would it be for more of us to say fuck that and look at each other and say, "holy shit you're awesome." Regardless of how different we may be.
Okay I think I'm spent. I'm getting tired, there is conditioner running down the back of my neck and I need to give myself a new manicure.
Your homework my homies is to take a minute and look at that picture on the internets that sometimes fills you with jealous self loathing and appreciate that person for being that person and not you.
Remember that you being you is mother fucking awesome and that person being that person is mother fucking awesome.
It'll be hard.
But it's freeing.
Now for a quick ode to my nails.
Being that I don't have a girlfriend I'm rocking long ass nails. These are my natural nails and no they don't get in the way of my typing. And yes they are awesome.
And the red manicure that I am not fond of and will remedy later on.
Now my homies, show me your links. Show me yourselves, cute things, nakedness whatever you like.