Friday, July 16, 2010

A few bits and pieces.

So earlier today someone said I was "sassy".

I know this lady doesn't know me personally and yet it took a shit load of self control not to start yelling in her face.

American culture has ruined the word sassy for me. Here is the Webster's definition-

dj. sas·si·er , sas·si·est

1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
2. Lively and spirited; jaunty.
3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat.

Now I will venture to guess that she didn't mean rude or impudent. She had a You Go Girl kind of tone (don't get me started on that phrase, suffice to say do not fucking say that to me please PLEASE it makes me crabby), and she was smiling.

To understand where I'm coming from have a look at this link at TV Tropes about the Sassy Black Woman.

It's exhausting honestly.

So as a PSA, please don't ever say I am sassy.

If I say something smart say it's smart, if it's funny feel free to call me a funny mother fucker, just don't say sassy.

Next up a few mini questions from my Ask Nudiemuse Form.

b1ade would like to know
(Slightly edited)btw forgive my ignorance but what does you not having a gf have to do with you growing them?

This from a post a few weeks ago where I put up a pic of my nails.

Well darling the fact is outside of mainstream porn if two vagina having people are having sex it makes a lot of sexual enjoyment way easier.

And let me insert some vagina lover of any ilk advice here.

If you are going to be doing it with someone who has a vagina, and that doing it may or may not involve putting your fingers in or near their vagina get a manicure or give yourself one.

Both the labia majora and minora can have very sensitive, tender skin and even small scratches will hurt like a bastard later. From experience I can tell you that not knowing you have a tiny scratch on your vulva until you pee or wash really fucking sucks.

If you don't want to get your nails did, keep a nail file handy and file away any snags. If you want to test out your nails, run your fingers along the inside of your lip by your teeth. If you have any snaggable bits, you'll feel it and you can fix it.

Next question comes from a new homie (YAY everyone say OH HI NEW HOMIE) and he would like to know about getting a tattoo as a person of color. OH YAY.

Okay buckle up.

If you are a brown person of whatever shade of brown there are some concerns I recommend speaking to your tattoo artist before you get inked.

#1 if you are prone to keloid type scarring you need to discuss this with your tattooist. How might your tattoo change? If you keloid say on your arms what about getting a tattoo in another spot? Know your body people.

#2 Colors will show up on your skin differently. Generally speaking the darker you are, a lot of colors may bleed or be somewhat invisible. Now from a consumer perspective I have seen dark skinned folks (probably a few shades darker than me up to really really dark) be able to utilize color but the artist needs to choose those colors carefully and, blend them carefully. Also in my personal opinon white and other light light colors look amazing on darker skin if they are done well and you don't bleed out the color.

#3 Most important, if you are going to get inked you (this is for everyone) you have to be comfortable with this person.

Also remember that tattoo artists often have a network of other artists to talk to. I encourage you to create a relationship with your artist and if you feel good encourage them if you are maybe their first client of color, to talk to other artists etc.

Randomly after a little google search there are some special color inks available for darker skin. This is pretty fucking awesome.

Someone else asked about stretch marks.

I would say that getting a tattoo over stretch marks will depend on what kind of stretch marks you have, the texture of the skin on them etc. THat is absolutely something to talk to your artist about as your stretch marks may differ from mine you know?

Now if you want to try and smooth out your stretch marks as much as you can try buying one of those cheap cheap sticks of pure cocoa butter and rub it on your areas. Also protip: stretchmarks happen when your skin loses elasticity for whatever reason.

Weight gain, weight loss etc.

If you find your weight is changing, take it as an extra reason to keep your skin well moisturized. I've seen lately that a lot of good heavy moisturizers (which I need my skin is awfully dry) can be had for not a lot of money.

Um, okay I think that's all.

I've been at work for seven goddamn hours and only now thought to eat. I'm awesome.

Have a fantastic weekend my homies and haters.

Homo Out.


witchyvixen said...

"Sassy" and "you go girl" have always bugged the everliving piss out of me too, but I don't really know why. I just know they make me want to smack people. Other words and phrases trigger my cringe too but these, especially YGG, make me want to tear things into little pieces. There is something insulting about them that I cannot quite put my finger on. The fact that the people using them seem so unaware that they are irritating is what scrapes my ass the most.

Haddayr said...


It's funny, because whenever people say I am brave or inspirational, I say: "That well may be, but these are now loaded words for a crip. Would you call your feisty and stylish black girlfriend 'sassy?'"

And the answer, apparently, is 'yes.'


Sarah B said...

Thank you for the tips!

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