Friday, July 16, 2010

People do the sex with the fatties?!!1??

I was informed recently by a very concerned party via my form that I apparently don't understand a few key issues for Fat Haters.

Number one is that well Fat Haters (I'm using this persons term) have delicate sensibilities. If they are confronted with bodies they don't approve of they will be in distress.

Number two, "obvs no one wants to fuck a fat bich,"


Okay as for issue number one as I have said time and again, nobody wants your damn approval. The fact is my Perfect Friend that unless said fatass is trying to tap your ass, most likely how you feel about their fat ass is a non issue.

I know that's hard to take.

I know it's a terribly hard thing to realize that maybe you aren't really the center of the universe or the ONE TRUE KNOWER OF THINGS.

It's hard.

Now, we all know I am no researcher but given the number of fatties I know personally who spend a whole lot of time doing the sex, and then there's all those other fatties out there who are partnered or sex workers etc etc.

I hate to break it to you but yes, terribly concerned Anon, lots of people do in fact want to make sweet sweet love with fat people.

Stop clutching your pearls, take a deep breath it's going to be okay.

I'll make it up to you by telling you, that you in all your (of course) thin taut perfection don't have to fuck a fatty.

No really you don't have to.

Find yourself a thin taut perfect person, get naked and commence to screwing the nasty out of each other.

I think that would be great.

I think it's pretty fucking awesome that we humans have such a wide variety of other humans with whom we might want to get naked.

One of the beautiful things about Fat Acceptance or any other body politics movement is that you wanting to fuck us isn't the point. Nobody really cares except for the people you may or may not want to screw.

All we want is to put an end to things that are unjust. Unjust as in serious issues like mistreatment by the medical professionals whose hands we put our lives in. Unjust as in being treated as less than because people like you don't want to fuck us. Unjust as in subject to being demonized and dehumanized.

So the point here is, I don't care if you don't want to fuck a fatty. That's great. That's awesome.

Just please feel free to use one of my personal guiding ideas in life

Don't be a dick, be a Richard.

Or just don't be a douche about it and everything will be just fine.

Homo Out.


wriggles said...

lots of people do in fact want to make sweet sweet love with fat people.

I second that e-motion.

Erin said...

My husband's response the last time some jerk was verbally harassing me at the mall with the whole "lose weight you cow nobody wants to fuck an elephant", after he finished getting us thrown out, was to comment that in his opinion there are only two reasons for that thought process.

1) They've already run through everyone in their social circle who they feel is attractive enough to sleep with the glorious specimen of humanity that is themselves, and they all saw through their shallow self centered personalities and tossed them to the curb so hard they bounced twice upon landing.

2) They can't stand the thought that someone they think is ugly is getting it on while they, God's Own Gift To Humanity, have to content themselves with back issues of playboy, free internet porn, and a kleenex.

Oh, as to how my husband got us thrown out of the mall? He is decidedly lacking in impulse control, and the sight of his wife crying has a distinct tendency to short circuit what impulse control he does have. Kind of sweet in a macho caveman sort of way, although I do tend to prefer he refrain from kicking asses in public lol.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of fatties trampling on Fat Haters' delicate sensibilities. I might make a button or a shirt based on that idea.

I love how you highlight how infantile it is to care about these things.

My favorite:
"Stop clutching your pearls, take a deep breath it's going to be okay."

I want to say that to anyone who gives me the 'ew, you're fat' look.

witchyvixen said...

"obvs no one wants to fuck a fat bich"

BWHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAAA!!! OMG that is so funny! What a naive, ignorant little dweeber! That is so ridiculous it is almost quaint! I love it!

Poor little person with the narrow view, your friends are not telling you everything darling. You are likely the ONLY one you know who doesn't want to fuck a fat "bich". The reason they don't tell you is because they know how intolerant and pitiful you are. There are a shit ton of websites dedicated to folks who want to fuck fat people, go Google it. Then take a look at the people who are trying desperately to shag my fat ass. Oh my! Check it out! They look even better than YOU! Well, according to YOUR definition anyway.

Listen, what you really mean is you don't want to fuck a fat "bich". Believe me, us fat biches are way cool with that. LOLOLOL

notblueatall said...

I love this post! It made me think of a conversation I had with one of my cafe's customers. She was saying how her auntie as a kid would say, "Ain't nobody thinkin' about you!" when kids got too nosey or whatever. Made me think of this hater, because seriously?! Ha! Thanks for this.

Shinobi said...

I know it's a terribly hard thing to realize that maybe you aren't really the center of the universe or the ONE TRUE KNOWER OF THINGS.

Ahhh things I tried to explain to someone today without much success.

Sleepydumpling said...

Call it instinct, call it what you will, but something tells me that Anon is not getting to fuck anybody if he/she has to troll the internet hating on someone.

fattylover said...

"obvs no one wants to fuck a fat bich,"

Yep anon way to get it wrong, my sentiments are that I only want to fuck fatties.

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