Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Yes I have a cranky.

As a matter of personal um, goal keeping? I have been working on better self care when it comes to my mental health.

For instance I rarely read comments to articles, news, blog posts etc if I have the feeling that it will upset me.

I have started trying really hard to be a breakfast eater. It sounds weird but if you are not naturally a breakfasty person, it is hard to become one. I've decided that I need to eat more during the day to keep my blood sugar up to see if that helps with some of my fatigue issues. It does.

And yes before anyone asks, this fatass needs to eat more. Shocking I know.

I had gone off of all my vitamins for about two months trying to figure out if they were really doing anything for me. Verdict is they were so I am back on them.

I have made an effort to return to my super hydrated ways.

I am working on saying out loud when I am not okay.

Now all these things have done me good.

Today I'm having a bit of a day. Nothing specific is upsetting me but I am a cranky whiny angry fussy baby.

I am hoping it's just PMS.

I find it really difficult to deal with random upset. I get frustrated because even though I'm doing my good self care, I still feel shitty.

And then I get upset, which makes me stressed and I'm upset about being upset and I'm annoyed with myself and it's a big ole hot mess.

Not good obviously.

When I feel like this I am never quite certain what to do for myself.

So I am going to continue to be nice to myself today because it's more important to be a good parent to myself when I feel shitty.

I think a large part of my moodiness of late has a lot to do with the fact that my insomnia has been really bad this summer and I"m just exhausted.

I have to tell you homies, the last time it was this bad for an extended period of time I was put on nightly sedatives that worked but left me so foggy minded I probably would have lost my job if I didn't stop taking them. I'm reluctant to do that again. I am too sensitive to sedatives and I'm honestly deeply terrified of dependence on them.

So I'm going to try something newish. Along with all the rest of my self care I'm beginning (as soon as I have a new bounce resistant boob holder) a new exercise program. Mainly to help exhaust me so I can possibly sleep.

I am hoping that this will do some good.

Also I am excited to start belly dancing again. That is a whole other post.

So my darlings, what do you do for yourself when you're feeling toddler level (as in that point that toddlers often get to when there is NOTHING in the entire universe that will soothe them thus you just gotta let em go through it until they can be soothed) cranky?

What is hard for you when it comes to self care and stuff?

Homo Out.


April D said...

"Also I am excited to start belly dancing again"

*Squeee!* Yay!!! I can't wait to hear about it more!!

I often find that I tend to push myself too far (too little sleep, not enough of the mentally stimulating food nutrients, too little sleep... very hot weather) then I get irrepressibly cranky and begin to rub my eyes. A lot. Like a nap-ready toddler. I get snippy and "less diplomatic" as my husband would say.

Usually it means I DO just need a good nap, some good music, time to just veg out and likely a hit of protein (tuna fish! Cheese! Something!!)

I think what's still hard for me is to feel out the boundary between Feeling Awesome and Cranky-Ready-To-Nap. It seems to be this quick snap-change and likely means I need to pay some closer attention to my needs. Kinda like making sure to drink water so you don't GET to the point of dire thirst, I need to work on listening to my own body as it moves from Awesome to " attention!! Getting cranky!"

Hope you're feeling more like your usual self (and get some good sleep!!) soon :)

Sarah B. said...

The things that make me feel best when I'm cranky and tired and not feeling well are: 1) to eat something I really love that also makes me feel good (I get invigorated by spicy Thai, and cooking is sometimes relaxing in that it takes my mind of off things that bother me), 2) curl up and get away from my computer or the TV or anything else that might get me riled up (old Vonnegut books work for me), 3) pop a Benadryl and read until that smooth, heavy eye-lidded, sleepy feeling comes.

The biggest trouble I have is feeling guilty for relaxing and I sit and ponder (whilst trying to relax or sleep) about all the crap I could be doing. I just have to distract myself.

Another thing that helps me to sleep is to think of the couple things that are bothering me or that I have to get done and just ponder a few ways I'm going to tackle them at a later time. It sometimes helps me resolve things.

I hope you feel better soon.

JeanC said...

Chocolate, lots and LOTS of chocolate when I get cranky. That and a visit to the shooting range or a good game of Diablo II.

On the self care front, it is hard for me to slow down, even when I am sick and injured. Most recently I had a heck of a time giving myself some down time after giving blood and having to deal with heat. I was seriously dragging for several days, but wouldn't/couldn't slow down.

I am getting better tho. On my days off (and even after work) if I need a nap, I will take a nap. Or grab a book and tell my hubby not to bother me for a while or run myself a nice bubble bath and soak for an hour or so.

On the breakfast front, I am SO not a breakfast person. Food first thing in the morning makes me physically ill. My dad was the same way. He eventually had to start eating breakfast when he was diagnosed hypoglycemic. I occasionally try to eat breakfast, but have problems. Closest I can get is to make a big batch of miso soup with no solids in it and have a nice hot cup so my stomach thinks I am getting coffee or tea in the morning.

Mmmm belly dancing, I need to break out my DVDs and get back to that. I am also looking forward to school starting again and going back to my 9-6 schedule (sort of, I like having the extra hour in the evening to go fishing when we can) so I can hit the therapy pool after work a couple times a week for aqua fitness and relaxation. Aqua fitness in a nice heated pool is a great stress reliever after dealing with obnoxious students and faculty :D

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