Today’s koan: How does one slut-shame a slut who feels no shame?
As an aside if you don't read her already you should. AAG is delicious.
The koan there completely wraps up how I feel about trying to shame people. As I've said in any of these entries.
This is the challenge of dealing with someone like me.
Yes, you can tell me all the evil things about fatness. You can wail on and on about OH SHIT FATTIE UR GUNNA DIE! You can bitch about how I look in everything, you can complain that my fatness is fucking up your hard on, you can tell me that nobody wants to fuck a fat person EVER etc etc blablabla and yet, it's not causing me to see the light and decide I must be thin.
Because I am a fat ass who is not ashamed of being a fat ass and therefor cannot be shamed about it.
It occurred to me yesterday as I thought on the koan there, how frustrating it must be to have such a burning desire to change another person that you wind up resorting to insults and it just doesn't work.
You must feel like a bug flying into a window over and over again.
I'm going to use AAG as an example here since it was her blog that put me on this thought train.
Let's say for arguments sake (and can I be clear this is not my actual belief got that) that I am horrified by AAG's love of fucking and exuberant writing about it. That I am appalled that she doesn't only write about sex but talks about a good bit of her life.
Now in my brain it makes far more sense even yes on the fucking internets where I can be whomever I feel like, to speak to people with some degree of kindness.
Clearly if you say something like (from her blog yes) the troll comment:
Speaking of new discoveries, just wait till your kids find your blog. Then they will discover what a slut their mom really is /snip
Like most people who troll, this comment had nothing to do with the context of what AAG had said in her original entry.
Speaking out of context is one of the clearest indicators that someone is not to be taken all that seriously. Even if you took the time to use correct spelling and try to make whatever point you have, speaking out of context in a very personal manner frankly makes you look stupid.
I've had this happen in my little corner of the sandbox here and it really baffles me.
I truly just don't understand what makes someone think that shitty comments (and I will trust that even trolls are smart enough to know when they are being shitty even if they are being earnest) will do something?
I wonder do these people stand in the super market and yell YOU WHORE at women in the frozen food section if they can see a hint of erect nipple?
If that is how you behave in general your life must be difficult and that makes me sad.
Whether it's in the Fatosphere, the Sex Blogger community or other places most of the time, trolls don't win.
Most serious trolling ends up in some fail.
Maybe instead of getting so worked up and thus trolling, try reading comprehension and perhaps a more compassionate approach.
Or shut the fuck up and go find your own corner of the Internet litterbox to pee in.
As far as this little corner of the Internet litterbox it's mine to pee in.
And if you're going to try and fat shame, sex shame or generally shame me about anything, to quote AAG again: Try Harder.
If what you read here or in other blogs upsets you that much, start your own blog. Or if you're going to comment use a name and be topical.
If you are trying to be cute or funny people are most likely (especially if it is a blog with happy readers) going to think you're an asshole and tell you you're an asshole. At that point, it does you no good to come back crying about how how mean all those people are because you intruded in a space and acted badly.
Yes, there is the glorious idea of Free Speech and as Dr. Laura learned recently yes you can say whatever the fuck you want to. But you can't be protected from the community deciding that they don't want to hear your shit.
Another pro-tip if you're going to show off your trolling skills don't do the shit privately. Most of the trollish things I get come via my form.
If you feel that strongly use a name, use a fake google account whatever and leave that shit public.
Tomorrow my homies, we need to talk about fitness and some of the assumptions about how easy it is to start a new fitness routine, stupid things health professionals have said to me and I have to share yet another rather embarrassing few exercise related tales. Well they would be embarrassing but I think they are just funny.
Now, do you have words for trolls? Advice on how to do it more effectively?
Any funny stories about trolls? Do tell.
Now if y'all will excuse me I have some stuff to do.