Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Marie Claire, oh my good lord.

I'm not linking to more of it. I'm reading more of this Marie Claire debacle unfold and I have some thoughts.

Something I think a lot of the screw you fatties opinion holding people are missing is that the issue is not Maura Kelly.

Maura Kelly and the things she said really suck. Her apology sucked. Marie Claire's handling of the issue sucks.

What sucks more and is the bigger issue is that fat people get treated to this kind of thing for the majority of our lives.

For a lot of fat people there is no quarter from people who want to make us better, who want to decide on a glance that we are the bane of the health care industry, that we are fucking up the planet, that we'd be so much better if only we lost the weight, that if we just tried hard enough gosh darn it we could be socially acceptable.

The fact is I don't give a flying fuck at a donut about whether or not someone in the general meat space world finds me attractive unless I am trying to date them. As a fat person negotiating the world I have to listen to people telling me at every turn shit that is not okay.

I have had to learn to claw and fight my way through self loathing that is seemingly mandated by society but lauded because my body does not conform to a single ideal of "health" or "fitness".

As a fat person I have to fight to get adequate health care. Not beacuse I don't have access (which is an amazing privilege) but because on a glance someone in whom I am supposed to trust my life, says whatever your problem is, lose weight it'll get better. Those same professionals will try and prescribe me drugs that may do everything from make me shit my pants to helping me have a heart attack. But because it's in the sole name of weightloss, all that becomes irrelevant and people tell me I'm being overly sensitive or whining.

For no good goddamn reason simply based on the appearance of my body I am open to and vulnerable to attacks on my morals, my eating habits, my very life. Not because anyone knows in any real way how I live my life or any damn thing but because I have a fat ass.

I'm not generally a hardline kind of person.

That being said, I will absolutely say if you make excuses for the things Maura Kelly said because they are "opinions" fuck you.

NO really fuck you and fuck you for supporting a system and culture that is actively harmful to me and a whole lot of people.

The thing about opinions as the adage goes they are like assholes. I don't want Ms. Kelly fired. I don't want punitive action taken against her. What I want is for her and people who think like her or agree with her to take a moment to step out of their own ego.

To think about the fact that as Marianne said on Tumblr I think: words mean things.

Think about the fact that no matter what difference someone has, it does not give you free reign to shit on them metaphorically because you don't approve.

Think about how this kind of societal level hate of a person not for any personal or moral reason can infect people (children dieting at younger and younger ages, people in the news who starve their infants, suicides etc) and how it contributes to bullying.

And what bullying is.

Think about what the use in blindly demonizing someone because they don't fit your aesthetics or because you don't want to sleep with them.

Ms. Kelly stated in her apology that she didn't mean to bully and I frankly don't believe her.

As someone who is also an author, I am very well aware of what words I choose to use and how I choose to use them.

If you don't intend to come off as bullying, don't be a bully. I honestly don't think it's difficult.

If you don't intend to abuse or insult, don't be abusive or insulting.

This is all just so goddamn sad.

Maura Kelly makes me sad.

The people railing about free speech (in my opinion that is not even an issue) make me sad.

The people who are pissed that fat people are being visible and saying HEY don't fuck with us make me sad.

The people who have made it into a fat vs thin thing make me sad.

It hurts me in a deep personal way because it is so unnecessary.

It makes me sad that it's still necessary to explain to the public why bullying for whatever reason is not good. Shaming and dehumanizing anyone does not make them change. It's dangerous and as we have seen recently fucking fatal.

It's not just a fat issue it's a human issue because guess what you could be next.

And nobody needs to be next.

I'm spent. I just can't with this shit anymore today.

Homo Out.


Anonymous said...

Hey, uh. Unrelated to the post, awesome as it is, sorry, but it looks like your Paypal button just goes to "" which is the site linked above that?

Anonymous said...

Er, dot net. I'm so great with attention to detail, hah. Either way, the link issue seems like a thing you would want to fix, just wanted to let you know!

Subscribe To My Podcast