Tuesday, November 02, 2010

A few positive words.

So in yesterdays post I promised no rage and today babies I'm delivering.

Today in honor of all the pain and upset over the last couple of weeks let's talk happy. Let's talk about bodies.

I want this to be outside of a strictly FA experience. I know some of my readers aren't fat, some of you are and some of you are inbetween. It's all good.

I want you all to know that regardless of how you feel about your body right this instant it's okay. I will say with confidence that if I haven't felt the same, someone else reading probably has or does right now too.

It's okay.

You are going to be okay.

I don't mean okay in the everyone is going to be hale and hearty kind of way because unfortunately not all of us are.

Some of us are sick, some of us don't care about health one way or another, some of us are healthy, some of us are disabled to one degree or another, some of us will be any one of these things at some point and it's okay.

I think something that's missing from a lot of discussion about bodies is just saying, hey your body, yes you right there your body is just fine and it's none of my business.

Your ass is not my business.

That said, I will say that I do care about your ass.

I care that you, yes you right there feel that you are worth more than the size of your ass. I care that people (as in everybody) know that they are not alone and that often they don't have to suffer the bullshit.

You, yes you right there are welcome.

No matter what kind of ass you have you don't have to put up with any body trying to shame you about it, bother you about it or otherwise involves themselves in the size and/or shape of your ass.

It helps all of us, for us to stick up for each other.

The fact is I have never in my life met anyone with bullet proof self esteem or belief that their body was okay. Not ever including myself.

I fully believe that the more of us who say to each other, hey you're okay, the more we can learn to say it to ourselves.

It's not a matter of caring specifically about the size of another person, to me it's a matter of showing that regardless of what's going on with our bodies, we can look at each other without judgment.

We can (and in my mind should) be able to listen to each other keeping our own privileges in check, and we can nod at each other and say holy shit that is fucked up.

I want us all, yes you too person sitting somewhere in front of a computer thinking you can't or don't get to contribute because you don't have the language, haven't studied shit, don't have a fat ass, have a really super fat ass..whatever reason yes you too can participate and I invite you to participate.

Come on.

There's a lot you can do. You can come visit fat blogs more often and comment. You don't have to say "I'm not fat but", at least not here in my litterbox. I don't care if you're not fat you're invited.

You're invited if you're not really sure about your stance on Fat related issues. I fully believe that if you don't get to, or feel like you can't participate how are you going to learn and therefor increase your own awesomeness?

What else can you do?

You can absolutely start learning to not body shame yourself or others.

That is really -really- fucking hard and I still sometimes have a problem with this. It takes time and effort but, I believe it's worth it to free yourself of that burden.

I also believe that an awareness of body politics can help everyone become aware of the more deleterious effects of body hate and can be an excellent introduction to intersectionality, issues affecting disabled people, and shit a whole lot of other issues.

The thing is this, once you become aware it's hard. The first part (hell a lot) of being aware of these things it's really fucking hard. Your feelings might get hurt, you might realize that maybe you've been an asshole to people and that really fucking sucks.

It sucks when you realize that you may have inadvertently caused this kind of pain in other people. As the cliche goes, knowing is absolutely half the battle.

I can tell you from experience it can be brutal.

It's embarrassing when you don't know the lingo, when you are one of those people who needs 101 type posts. Some communities may feel hostile if you're not already knowledgeable and that sucks. It really sucks.

I urge you to stay with it. Surf the links on your favorite blogs. Stock your feed reader with voices that are entirely unlike your own.

It seems like a small thing but I believe it's rewarding and worth it in the end.

I want to see us (yes, you too lurkers) get beyond feeling like you can't say anything for whatever reason.

You can.

I invite you to right here in my litterbox.

You don't even have to use a name if you're shy. Have stuff to say? Links you want to talk about? Stuff you're not sure how to process?

Come on.

Blog about it and leave me a link.

I am a little all over the place, blame Nanowrimo which I'm doing again. And if you need Nanowrimo buddies my username there is CrankyShannon and I say GO TEAM FATASS!

Also to be really serious. The two of you that donated...thank you. I want to make you each a little something something. I am so honored to have such caring people in my little universe here. I can't even tell you how thankful I am.

I'm thankful for everyone who visits. The sweet comments. The follow ups to long ago given advice (YAY..you know who you are YAY).

You all do my little hippy heart so much good. You don't even know how awe inspiring to me that after all these years, people still like to hear what I have to say.

Thank you my homies. Thank you.

I'm yammering. I know.

I am going to roll about in the warm fuzzies and get back to novel work. If anyone would like I'll probably post tid bits either on Tumblr or on Livejournal.

I love you folks. Even you haters. I love you too.

Go forth, frolic in the fall and wink at yourself once in awhile.

Homo Out.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nice to read the above. I work in Woman's fashion as a production assistant. We design clothing for size 16-26. I tell my clients all the time they are beautiful and not to be so concerned with their upper arms or big butts or protruding stomachs. I truly believe what I'm saying to them. Then I look at my own body with disgust. My thoughts of negativity and mild self loathing are fairly constant. I keep telling myself I don't deserve to eat because I am fat. It's ridiculous. It was great to read your post and try to cut myself a little slack.

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