First thing my darlings, go here (Mollena's blog/post there is totes NSFW, she talks about kink and stuff so take heed before reading). No go read and admire her awesome ass. I'll wait.
So what her entry brought to my mind aside from HOT DAYUM LOOKIT! Was this.
I want to talk bout subversion again and sex.
So in case you want to skip my thinky thoughts, basically I believe with my whole heart that getting to a place where you square you shoulders and say, Yes I'm Sexy mother fuckers, is in and of itself a hugely subversive thing when you are outside of the narrow margins of mainstream beauty ideals.
To go further than that if you take that stance (even yes if it's just a momentary thing, you own that moment) and it is without qualifiers or is outside of depending on how attractive you think you seem to other people I think that takes it up a notch.
That is a powerful weapon to wield my friends.
And I say I am Dangerous because, it is absolutely threatening to deny anyone their perceived right to decide how I see myself.
Ever notice how if you completely dismiss and not engage with someone who says something douchy about you not being their taste or they think you're cute but not sexy, how upset they get?
People get angry which means you are probably doin something right.
I very often have an I Don't Give a FUCK attitude about attractiveness.
The only people who's tastes I hang some hopes on are (and have historically been) are people whom I'm trying to get down with.
Yes. If I am trying to get into some pants that are not my own, I want them to find me attractive.
The fact that I am often up front about not giving a fuck has led me to the conclusion that my fucks that are given are very important and highly powerful because people get really pissed off when denied them.
So yes I am Dangerous.
I am dangerous to people who believe that their gaze, that their level of arousal at any one point or their lack of it would or might influence how I feel about myself.
The next time you get a back handed compliment or you declare your hotness and someone wants to disagree tell them you do not give a fuck. You don't have to be angry, you don't have to expend your energy engaging in that bullshit.
If you are not as snarky as I am there are always other things you can say. Someone says, OMG YOU UGLY BITCH. Smile and tell them just how relieved you are that they find you ugly because you really want nothing to do with what's in their pants.
When it comes to meat space interaction my favorite and frequent reaction to random comments on just how unfuckable I might be, is the single raised eyebrow.
It is amazing what people will ascribe to that eyebrow. Great personal insult, the occasional bit of butt hurt.
It's all awfully amusing in my head.
I can see no valid reason that my indifference to someone thinking I'm gross ugly and unfuckable is really something to get angry about.
Once upon a time I had a very dedicated troll who would send me lengthy un-spellchecked screeds about how everything about me was so awful and ugly. I took the first few kind of personally, but then I realized that this person like the guy that walked up to me on the street and called me an "ugly darkie pig" (trufax that happened, right outside of Westlake Mall)- neither of these people made any bit of difference in my actual living.
It also reminds me of my puzzlement back in the day when there was a lengthy discussion about "critiques" in Fatshionista. I really could not understand why so many people got upset that they couldn't give their opinion (as in negative, I hate your shoes for instance) on a post.
I really wanted to ask people what their issue was? Why be upset that someone is going to wear what they are going to wear even if you hate it? Is it really that important to think that you hold sway over another human being SO much, that you are SO important people MUST LISTEN TO YOU?
I forget now what my actual point was going to be. I started this on Friday and forgot about it until just now.
OH no wait I remember.
So for those people who are desperate to have EVERYONE they find unattractive or unfashionable or unfuckable that they are in your esteemed opinion any of these things, slow your roll. Whatever issue you are trying to work out with that, do it on your own time the rest of us are too busy being attractive, fashionable and fuckable to other people and most importantly to ourselves.
Frankly, if you are following someone about either on the internets or in meat space, crowing about their flaws it just makes you look like you are what? Hating.
So stop. Go find something else to do.
To those being hated on, called names, deemed to be the awful masses relax. You're fine.
You my darling go on with your bad self. Dress how you please, look and feel however you want to because in the grand scheme of life, those people who make fun of you, or who mutter that you're weird or ugly as you go by mean nothing.
Now internets if you hung in for all that wow you're awesome.
In other awesome news I am right this instant working on a super guest post for someone I am very awfully fond of. I am also pleased to announce that poetry written by me will be in a magazine after the New Year.
And my two donaters your Holiday generosity has gone to a very good cause, half to a local Goodwill and half to wait for it, feed my yarn addiction.
I will leave you with my favorite macro OF ALL TIME. And this is something I actually say in meat space a.)whenever I see a shark or b.) just when people are annoying me.