December has been really productive for me in ways that are not blogging.
The first productive and okay seriously awesome thing that happened was I did a guest post for Marianne over at The Rotund. I talked about writing smut. It was awesome and my first ever guest post for anyone anywhere.
Next thing. My writing website got a little bit of a redo. See it here. Speaking of the writing, you'll notice there is a wordpress blog there. Yep. I decided to do some writing about my writing life in a more um...well a less familiar way than I do over on LJ. So far not a lot of posts but more to come. I'll be talking about rejections (a lot), resources and I hope to feature some authors I really love and possible email interviews.
And I have a confession to make y'all. One of the reasons my blogging has slowed down so much is that I'm writing more essays. The upside is that I'm writing some really good shit the downside is that for whatever reason I haven't yet mastered essaying and blog post writing. I am looking into finding more publishing opportunities for my essays so watch for that.
Back to fat yes?
So I've been thinking about a few things and something someone asked me a while ago.
Someone asked me not too long ago why I'm not or why I don't really try to get into more of the FA spotlight.
The most simple answer is that I don't know that I feel it's necessary.
I don't think that if someone's sole interest is FA that my little spot here is the place to turn to. I don't do studies, I don't do take downs of things. I used to try really hard to do those things because that's what seemed to be the thing to be doing as an FA blogger.
Honestly that stuff bores the shit out of me. Doing it makes me unhappy so I stopped trying.
So I'll do what I'm good at.
Next thing, you have got to watch this documentary. The Fat Body (in)Visible.
the fat body (in)visible from Margitte Kristjansson on Vimeo.
There is some nakedness. And I say again, everyone needs to watch it.
One of the most powerful things to do as a person who is fat or otherwise often rendered invisible by our culture is to in fact be seen.
I started this yesterday but let's continue shall we?
I just saw this on Tumblr:
Can I just say fuck to the yes?
This is awesome visibility.
This is what I'm talking about and this is what kinda turns my crank about visibility.
If you're walking down the street minding your own damn business and you have an apprearance or your presentation is as such that it makes people uncomfortable and perhaps they feel the need to confront you about it, you are fucking with the idea that you as an entity are invisible to the world and some people are not ready for that.
I've found that when I have walked around perhaps dressed in a visually loud manner and have not walked with my head down or my shoulders up around my ears, that is when I have been screwed with by random people.
I discovered the inherent power is visibility very much by accident. I remember it almost down to the second the anger related feelings sparked and flew.
Yours truly right around the tender age of 20. So I had this long super goth Funhouse brand dress I bought on clearance from Hot Topic. OH wait..wait I have a picture.
Aw damn I don't have it.
Anyway, after buying that dress when I wore it, I went balls out darkity dark dark princess complete with black bob hair cut black wig with the widows peak bangs, huge platform boots, shiny PVC purse with bondage straps. When I wore that dress, I did not just dressed I went for it.
I figured that a full length black filmy gown with it's down goddamn cape attached to it deserved such drama.
So I was wearing that ensemble and was downtown Seattle heading to Tenzig Momo for incense and I'd intended to take myself out for sushi before going to work. I was leaving the market when this really really angry woman stopped me and demanded to know who I thought I was dressed like that.
Some strange Black lady stood and gave me what for in the street for no other reason than she didn't like my outfit. I did not know this lady, she was not related to me, she did not pay for my clothing or housing.
It was the first time when something like that happened I lost my shit. I went crazy right back at her in my special calm, cold, monotone way.
When I am truly righteously angry, when I am entering nuclear bomb territory I speak very calmly, coldly and clearly. I want you to hear every word.
I did not make her cry (as I kind of had a habit of at that age) but I did discover that for whatever reason, my decision about how to walk around the world had power.
This was around the same time I also started discovering that being sexy and having big tits had power but we'll save that for another day.
The point is this.
When you present yourself in such a way that there is no missing you or ignoring you, it is so powerful it can make complete strangers lose their cool.
Most of the time I think deep down when people get angry about things like presentation, at the root of it they just can't stand to see other people doing things they themselves don't have the guts to. Whether it's wearing a sleeveless top when you have some fat arms, wearing see through plastic pants to the grocery store or whatever.
This being what it is, I say be visible. Walk around like you own it because you do.
If you have to pretend at first that's okay it gets easier.
If you have bad days that's okay too.
Just remember as the gif says:
You will probably get some fluff from me tomorrow. So until then my darlings, you be fancy. I'm going to be fancy and we'll all be fancy together.
OH Ps..I am trying to make my blog more accessible. For the visually impaired there is an option to listen to an audio version of my blog posts. I'm also trying to remember to tag images. If the alt tags are broken someone let me know. I will probably try to work out some alternative color schemes for users as well.