Tuesday, February 01, 2011

This again?

So I've been sitting on a comment for quite a while from a previous entry. It is lengthy and well thought out but I decided against approving it.

Basically this person is new to reading Fat Acceptance/Activism blogs and is really upset by the presence of people who are round about my size, that my content is not appropriate to the fat feeds that I am on. In essense this person entirely questions my place here.


I believe this person is working off of some erroneous assumptions so let's get a few things clear.

First of all there are no arbiters of Fat Acceptance. Yes we have famous people who have been on television, written books, have eleventy million blog hits a day and get linked to/from all over the place but nobody makes any ideological rules that everyone abides by.

Second, Fat Activism and participation in Fat Activism in tihs case blogging is not the sole property of only Deathfat or really fucking fat or fat fat fatty fat fat people.

Thirdly, nobody makes you read anything on the internet. Seriously. If you did not like what I had to say you could have moved on to the next fat blog or to google or where ever.

Fourth, (and I should make an about the blogger page so I don't have to keep saying this) this is my personal blog. And being that you did read several entries as you mentioned, I am not a single issue blogger. I have a very intersectional style of blogging. I may talk about sex, I may talk about my own ass, I may talk about fashion, I may publicly declare my love of people on the internets. I may talk about race, privilege, etc. I don't do this because I can't concentrate. I do have a reason and the reason is that I am not fat in a vacuum. I am not Black or Queer in a vacuum. I think about a lot of things. And all of the things I talk about inform my stance on everything and god damn it it's my litterbox and I will pee in it as I see fit.

Fifth, (and I do realize this will sound harsh) it's not my issue that you have problems seeing bodies or hearing the perspective of people who aren't as fat as you are. I would venture to say that, that is an issue you need to work on, on a personal level. I can't make you more comfortable with me being in the Universe.

That's an important thing.

Yes, if you look at fatter bodies when you are a fatter person there is incredible comfort and wonder in that. However I don't think that means it's healthy or good to shut out other body types and sizes because you may have some deeper issues.

Here are some facts about Fat people that you can take to the bank. And I don't generally speak in absolutes but here you go.

First- Fat and the perception of size can be highly dependent on your culture (in a micro sense, as in the world immediately around you). As an example. I had a very good friend who comes from a Cambodian family. Most everyone in her family was naturally very thin or really really thin. She was a size ten or so. In the grand scheme of fat she was not at that time a fat person but, in her immediate culture she was HOLYSHITFAT. Her experience at that time dealing with her family very closely mirrored that of a lot of fat people who's blogs I've read on the fatosphere.

What does this mean? It means that perceptions of what is or isn't fat are not always spot on and applicable to everyone. It means that the fat experience can be way more diverse and wide spread than we like to think. It also means that you, whomever you are don't get to make the rules about fat experience and who talks about it. That's hard I know.

Second- Trufax you don't have to like what I say or how I say it. You don't have to read what I say. As I've said already, go to your upper left corner or your address bar in your browser and go forth to frolic somewhere else. If my experience tooling around the Universe in my particular fat body bothers you, bye. And the same goes for any other fat blog.

Third- The Fatosphere like any loosely organized group of people into a social justice thing is not going to be uniform. Some bloggers focus more on science. Some focus on studies. Some spend a lot of time debunking things. Some people talk about health care. Some people focus on fashion and style. There is no reason or right for anyone to say that any of these subjects just "don't belong" in the movement. None. As I said above, if you're not interested in something you don't have to read it or participate in it.

Now on a personal level, in your comment you said a few times how doubtful you were that I would post the comment and you are right. I didn't post your comment for a few very specific reasons and if you want to participate on blogs I'd like to give you a few tips.

First of all, using dismissive language does not win you respect or points. There was no need to in essence be looking down your nose at my "little thing". That's insulting. In case you do come back i will tell you that I pay for web hosting. I worked very hard to recode this template to my liking. I pay for the domain name. I spend my time and energy putting my words out there.

Second of all, you don't know me. You don't really know or feel what I'm doing here and that's fine. The people who get it get it and the people who don't can ask me about it, can engage with me about it but I'm not going to tolerate being insulted. I don't have to as my last entry states give anyone my fucks if I don't want to.

Third, as I have said many many times when this sort of thing has gone on here's what you do if you are that upset about my presence in the FA community. If you see me linked somewhere, on a feed etc find the contact info for the admin and complain. that's how you do it because frankly I'm not disengaging or going to cease blogging because anyone doesn't like what I have to say.

And lastly, honestly person, having things hard or feeling powerless or feeling picked on etc that doesn't give you license to be an asshole. Being an asshole is not brave it's just being an asshole.

You might be a perfectly nice person who had a moment of bad behavior which happens and I can forgive you for that. Just know that I won't put up with it.

Acceptance Woman sugar I owe you an email and I'm ruminating on it. I didn't forget promise.

I will have some literary news here soon. Also, um okay I may or may not put up one of those chip in things I'm considering it. Don't ask.

Homo Out.


Anonymous said...

Preach it! ;)

JeanC said...

Well said!

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker here. I'm a deathfatz and I say amen to this whole post. Shannon, you are awesome just the way you are. Your voice matters. Your size does not.

acceptancewoman said...

You, as usual, rock.
I'm sorry you had to expend energy in this way, but we all benefit from your, uh, clarifications.
Regarding the email -- no worries, I tend to get hyper and overexcited and I don't expect a response.
I actually think Washington CAN has the right idea -- pursuing closing tax loopholes for big banks and other money-horders. So, I'm abandoning my tax food and beverage strategy, in favor of a tax those whose wealth continues to expand while the rest of us are somewhere between barely making it and losing ground.

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