Friday, May 27, 2011

Bad Girl Status.

Lately, all over the intertubes I am seeing a resurgence of Bad Girl* Empowerment chic.

On one hand I enjoy it because deep down, yes I am still a Bad Girl*. However, most of what I see revolves around a few common themes. And yes I'm going to be a little bitchy and a little hyperbolic.
  • OH NOES I eated a cupcake
  • OH NOES I only worked out for an hour instead of two hours.
  • OH NOES I haven't shaved my (insert X here..pubes/legs/whatever) in TWO WHOLE DAYS.
  • OH NOES I showed some leg in a picture everyone will think I"m a slut.
Etc etc ad nauseum.

(Also when I say women* or Girls* I am using these terms in way that means that anyone who identifies as a girl, woman, lady, female etc. I'm also using it in a general this is what I'm calling this thing kind of way. In other words no one has to be an actual girl or woman or female identified human to play.)


Look my homies, if you want to be a Bad Girl* that's awesome. I see where you're going with it and you know what I approve. I do.

BUT, seriously baby doing "bad" things that are actually amoral (as in having no moral value one way or another) does not make a girl bad.

Yes it's a good baby step to being Bad if in this context we're using Bad to indicate that one is breaking societal "rules" that one deems stupid.

It just depresses me.

It depresses me to see women* clapping each other on the back for breaking rules that are in effect only hurting themselves.

What I mean is this. If you assume that one is a Bad Girl* because one has eaten a cupcake, you are coming from a place that says it is a bad thing to eat something because you enjoy it, to eat something that may or may not be "healthy", or to eat something that might Gods forbid make you appear to be, feel or be (eventually) fat.

The thing that bothers me most is that this self identified Bad Girl* behavior does not to me seem to be coming from a place of strength which is where a serious Bad Girl* is coming from. Declaring oneself bad because one is presumably flying in the face of the dreaded fatness, because we all know being fat is like the worst thing POSSIBLE EVER, is well fucked.

Now as a self proclaimed Bad Girl* let me give you aspiring Bad Girls* some pointers.
  • Bad Girls* need not be afraid of doing whatever the fuck they want to with their bodies. Mod the shit out of yourself, stick needles in your areas, don't shave, shave everything from the top of your head to the fuzz on your toes, wear a shirt that shows your gut, stay covered from head to toe do whatever you want but, do not go there in a state of giggly fear. Do those things with your head up high, your back straight and with the absolute knowledge that No One Can Fuck with you about whatever choice you've made because you are a Bad Mother Fucker.
  • Bad Girls* Need Not fight amongst themselves. Which means if you are a Bad Girl* and you see another Bad Girl* who has made a decision to do something you don't like, a real Bad Girl* would not cut the other down. A serious Bad Girl* might say, "Hey I think what you're doing/wearing/your tattoos/your shoes etc are fucked but you go on with your Bad Self." Why? This skill is important because we are taught to hate each other. As women we are expected to call each other sluts, to judge what others are wearing, to insult each other, to not get along because that's what bitches do right? The thing is, it takes far more fortitude and strength to acknowledge that you know what, you and I will never EVER like each other and it's okay.  It is the Bad Mother Fuckers who can live and let live. Is is the Baddest Mother Fuckers who can not only live and let live but support others in that living.
These are my top two Fake Bad Girl* pitfalls.

Now that we know what Bad Girls* don't need to do, how does one start?

First thing is that you must understand that sometimes being a Bad Girl* means you have to be that girl. That you have say tell someone to shut their racist piehole, that you have to tell someone to fuck off, that you have to give someone the do not touch me lest I destroy you where you stand look. Sometimes being a Bad Girl* means you have to stand up for someone who can't stand up for themselves. Maybe that means you tell a random cat calling dbag on the street to shut the fuck up because the woman* in front of you has her head ducked and looks afraid.

Maybe you need to leave that comment saying that your favorite blogger (myself included possibly) needs to not be a Dick and be a Richard.

Bad Girls* must learn that even if they are super smart, genius level humans that they do not have to hold all the cards. That there are things they just don't understand and might never understand and that's okay. Bad Girls* may know ALL THE FANCY words but know when to shut the fuck up.

Bad Girls* must also understand that their flavor of Bad Girl* Life, may not include the same things that my flavor of Bad Girl* Life and that can be freaky, it can make one of us upset but it's okay. One Bad Girl* does not have to be the same as another and serious Bad Girls* will be really fucking happy about that.

Bad Girls* sometimes have to be loud and interrupt shit.

Bad Girls* sometimes need to put a foot down and say, NO. No, no and fuck no.

Bad Girls* need to learn to if not love each other then at least give each other the Sooper Sekrit nod of acknowledgment.

Bad Girls* Don't need to take shit from anyone about their gender presentation, their sexual preferences, their wardrobe choices, the size of their asses, what kind of toilet paper they use, the state of the hair in their crotches or anything else like that. Theories are well and good, ideas are well and good but real Bad Girls* know when to step off.

Bad Girls* understand that sometimes we have to break it down for other people. Sometimes we have to explain things that we've known for ages in order to welcome them into the fold if they want to come in. Bad Girls* understand that a lack of knowledge about a particular issue or subject is not a moral failing and we will not be assholes to people who maybe just don't know about things.

Above all else, serious Bad Girls* embrace the simple truth that life is a mother fucker for all of us in differing ways. Serious Bad Girls* know and understand that a big part of our Bad Girl* Status is heavily involved in all the things that make us who we are and have an impact on our lives. Our privileges, Our lack of privileges, where we live, who we live around, how we were raised and at what stage of Bad Girl* status we're at.

For me Bad Girl Status isn't just for Girls*.

You want to be a Bad Girl and you're a boy? To quote my favorite meme, Be Dat Shit.

Are you Genderqueer? FTM? MTF? Somewhere along the line of binary gender? Don't follow binary ideas about Gender? Have a penis? Don't have a penis? Have a vagina? Have a girlcock? Boypussy?

Whatever kind of junk you have, yes you can be a Bad Girl* too.

All I'm going to require is that you be human. Otherwise we may have to haggle about your Bad Girl Status.

This message brought to you today by me being cranky and spending a long while unfollowing, unfriending etc Fake Ass Bad Girls.

Homo Out.


Kristie said...

This is awesome. My heart just sinks every time some lady (and it's almost always a lady) I know talks about what a bad person she is because she emptied the coffee pot at work and DIDN'T MAKE MORE. I said, "Call me when you've stolen a car, and we'll talk about your badness." Situations like that are walkin', talkin' evidence of how small the box our culture has put is in in terms of what is "bad" or "immoral" so that doing anything riskier seems impossible, and the lack of awareness of how complicit we are in our own imprisonment in these bullshit matrices of control. If you're a bad person because you didn't make coffee, you certainly don't want to step off the cliff into the evil abyss by telling someone off. It makes for such a pinched, fearful existence, and that ain't good for anybody.

Veronica said...

That was *awesome*! I don't identify as a Bad Girl, but if this is what Bad Girls are like, then I hope they multiply until the streets are flooded with them!

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