Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Sometimes, ladies I just can't do it with you anymore.

Sometimes I want to give up on women (as in those who identify as women). I blame the fact that the internet has made it easy for me to follow around my favorite women, there are blogs and twitter streams, face book pages and everything else. I read so many of their words and sometimes I just want to give them up the way sometimes you have to force yourself to give up a lover not because they are necessarily a bad partner but because they aren’t healthy for you to be around.

I hate it.

I read what these often conventionally attractive women say about their bodies and the often cavalier way they speak hatefully about their own bodies. I remember one author talking about her awful fat thighs and posting a picture of the offending body parts. To my eyes they looked like toned thighs that touch yes but not fat in any way.

I read those things and I have flashbacks of listening to my friends talk about another girl we all knew, about what a fat awful bitch she was. That girl was significantly thinner than I and I remember feeling mortified. I wondered if they mooed when I wasn’t around, if when I wasn’t sitting right there they called me a fat bitch.

I realize that on one hand it’s comforting to see that these thin pretty women have their issues too. On the other hand it floors me and makes me sad that these women haven't yet realized that they don't have to say that there are things wrong with them.

Also a note from a reader who is actually fat, when all the bad things are fat related. If you say you're fat because you're lazy or because you had ham with your lunch instead of a said or whatever, that's not cool. I take that shit personally.

I go right back to being 15 and sitting chewing the inside of my mouth raw because I am everything bad and no one is saying anything to my face right that second because they are being polite and they like me.

When I see people I know are smart and loving take part in the culture of self hate so wholeheartedly it just hurts me. Even worse when it comes to women I've spoken to on the internets, I have that moment where I wonder if they would not talk to me if they knew that I am an actual fat person.

Would they be nice in an email and then turn to whomever and say oh this fat bitch?

I never really know how to approach people I don't know on a personal level about these things. other than to not follow/read them anymore.

I know that sometimes all it can take to get someone to think about the language they are using is for one person to say oh hey, hey that's not cool.

I also know that I would probably not take it super well if my thoughts were taken to be insults or call outs.

It makes me tired y'all.

So let me say this. Women (as in those who identify as women) please, when you talk about all the awful things you are because you're fat or because you perceive yourself as fat you're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors. I know that we're all human and have shitty days but maybe try to go easy on the self hating talk.

I won't like you or your writing any more if you don't post about your fat ass that in all actuality isn't fat. I won't like you any less if you say you had ham for lunch and it was mother fucking delicious.

I may like you a little less if you equate fat with all the bad things.

Okay folks.

I know posts are few and far between. I'm steaming ahead on The. Book. Look out for a poll in the next week or two. Um. Yeah this is going down and it's frightening.

What else?

I keep thinking there's something else I wanted to say but I don't know.

Right so that's all for now. I'm going to go write more things. Y'all tell me what you're up to. Show me pictures, fling some links. Have at it y'all.

Homo Out.


MollyMurr said...

I'd just like to say that I love your work. Amen to this entire post.

H. said...

I agree... It makes me sick when all women can do is talk about weight issues. I've only worked with a lot of women one time in my life (about 4 or 5 years ago) and during lunch break, ALL THEY DID WAS COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT. Wow. Here were attractive, "intelligent" women putting themselves down every chance they got. Sad. As for me, I'm a happy size 10-12. I'll never be ultra thin and stopped expecting to be years ago. Damn media brainwashing and what it does to women! Abrazos to you for such a post. And all the best.

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