Wednesday, June 15, 2011

For those about to bootyshake..I salute you.

Just so we are on the same page here let me remind you about my philosophy on Booty Shaking.

When I say bootyshaking I don't mean skilled dancing. I don't mean you have to have the ability to stand up. I don't care if you are in a wheelchair, if you're on crutches, if your really fucking fat, if you're super tiny skinny, I don't care how old you are, what kind of music you like, your socioeconomic status, your sexual orientation, your gender, none of that.

I'm talking about expressing joy in a physical manner. Booty Shaking.

I want you to think about dogs and small children for a minute.

When babies or dogs are happy about anything, butts shake. They wriggle and squirm, dogs wag their tails babies bounce up and down, rock back and forth, flail. Their whole bodies get in on expressions their happy.

Think about watching children when they like a song. What happens? Often they don't care where they are or what's going on, you can have a child in a full on straight up holy shit tantrum, put on their jam and they are fine.

That's what we're talking about here.

You don't need rhythm, you don't need a big ole booty, you don't even need to have witnesses.

All you need is the memory of joy.

You need a moment to shed a few inhibitions about how funny you might look or that you might be too old or uncool, you need to bootyshake.

You need your daily dose of I Do Not Give A Fuck. (For further instruction see my entry here about all the fucks I do not give). Sometimes you really do need (believe me I have done both the research and the experimentation) some time to say, I do not give a fuck right now I'm about to get down.

Today we're doing some advanced shit.

You need to imagine or hear a beat that touches you. Sometimes this requires a suspension of social political ideals (in my case, it's club banger hip hop, often problematic but damn so many beats) and some time.

Next, decide that you do not give a fuck. Maybe you're waiting for the bus, maybe you're at home in your underpants, maybe you are with your kidlets at home, maybe you are with your partner. It's time. It's going down.

Now, when your jam starts, start moving.

Among my personal favorites is to just go. Do what I feel like. Maybe I will be (unsuccessfully) booty clap. Maybe I am busting a hip grinding stripper move, maybe I am trying to bust out a shimmy. Maybe I'm just shaking my boobs at Uniballer.

Maybe I'm just flailing around like I'm a mosh pit for one.

Doesn't matter.

What I'm saying is let your happy roll out of your gut and into your ass. Or your hands or your toes.

Wag your tail. Bounce up and down. Bob your head.

You can start small, maybe a sneaky bit of wriggling in your seat at work or in the car.

Other suggestions. If you have some kidlets gather them up, play some music with a good beat. Turn it up loud and proceed to Jam out with your hams out. The little ones especially love this. When your baby is bootyshaking in just diaper clap. Booty shake back.

The real lesson is to not teach your kids that their happy wrigglings and bootyshaking joys are bad or wrong. Teach them that sometimes they do not have to give a fuck.

THe harder lesson is teaching yourself.

Furthermore, it's just fun.

If you've seen me in my natural habitat, I am frequently moving my ass in some way. When I am happy or I get good news or I'm excited I will do a happy booty dance. I flap my arms and shake all over.

Why? Because it just feels good. It is an ultimately entirely self centered act. When I dance around my apartment in just my jammy pants or buck ass naked it's not for the delight of my partner it's for me.

Simply because it feels damn good.

Sometimes life is really fucked up. Some days are awful and stressful and sometimes I need (and you need and everyone needs) just a few precious minutes not to give a fuck and be happy.

I'll wrap up here in a second but first a little story about a kid I used to see out dancing a lot.

He has cerebral palsy. He also had not one ounce of rhythm in his entire body. He also loved nothing more than to dance.

Sometimes he didn't have very good control over his limbs, most of the time he used crutches and he jammed the fuck out. Some people laughed at him. THere were people who thought he should stay home.

Sometimes he tipped over while dancing then he'd get right back up and resume jamming.

He did not give a fuck.

I loved him for not giving a fuck and more than one time he and I had our own spot on the dancefloor and jammed the fuck out.

In case nobody has told you lately, you don't have to care if you look weird or dorky. You don't have to care if you have a pancake booty or no rhythm. You don't have to care if you're rolling along in your wheelchair and want to bust a move. You don't have to care if the only dancing you can do is to stand in place and waive your elbows.

You do not have to give a single fuck.

Not. One.


Now, find your beat, move some body parts and go.

Okay my darlings. The. Book is going. It's taking me way longer than I thought because it really hasn't been easy. I'll give a full new report tomorrow but suffice to say I am so thankful you all encouraged me to do it.

I am in need of some more help with the donations thing. I'm really not great at fundraising and I keep feeling embarrassed to bring it up but I do still need help.

So if you would if you can't donate is toss this link around.

If you can donate you're super awesome.

Okay back to work my homies.

Your homework is to report back about bootyshaking with joy. Did you do it? Did you do it with friends or partners? Did you level up and do it in public? Tell me all about it.

Homo Out.

1 comment:

Levi said...

I am having a booty-shake moment. I found a pair of Demonia platform Mary Janes at a thrift store for $4. That are extremely brand new.

My goal then became to find at least one outfit to fit them. I found i at that same store several days later.

Now, ordinarily I don't do frilly/girly. However, this outfit /works/. It's kinda Lolita/kinderwhorish. And yes, I even managed to find a girly-style wig for it. I'm wearing the entire outfit just for fun, and wishing I could take a pic of it, only I have no full length mirror to do so.

I am considering pretty corset-type things and a bolero-type jacket. Also, accessories.

Just sayin', I feel pretty happy right now.


Subscribe To My Podcast