There are a lot of things making me hugely insanely angry right now so I don't want to post anything serious for fear of having a total disco breakdown.
So, lets talk about monstery, beauty.
For reference the kind of thing I"m talking about is inspired by people like my friend Ugly Shyla. This is one of my favorite shots of her, look at her.
blog here and see some of her fantastic art and jewelry and pictures of her amazing face.
I have loved Ms. Shyla since long before I ever started talking to her. Back in the day in the age of the Alt. Models everywhere she was one of the few I found interesting on a visual basis.
Shyla is not easy to look at and appreciate if what you want is a skinny white girl with a few tattoos.
What does this have to do with me?
It has to do with my personal current need, no goal to engage in some monsterous art on my face.
The fact is, deep down in my black little heart I want to embrace and accentuate how hard my face can be to deal with.
I want to take pictures of it.
I want to make it art because that is the kind of art that moves me.
I want to be the Brave Black Lady who does it and does not give any fucks.
Even with the proliferatuon of beautiful alt. models of color, most adhere to a very mainstream idea of beauty.
I'm not talking about just being "modely" I'm talking about bringing this idea further into my daily life because why not?
I want to buy custom crazy fangs (I'm drooling over these) I want to incorporate some Fx techniques. I want to give the universe some Short Fat Grace Jones Action.
Maybe I want to give you some Old Goth is Old hotness.
Fake blood? Yes.
Crazy weird Gareth Pugh inspired (see reference here) make up? Yes.
For whatever reason everything related to aesthetics in my head is Nazgul, Alien, Weird, Ugly and Beautiful in my head. I have a vision.
So to that end I've promised myself I am going to teach myself to do more things with my make up beyond what I can do right now.
I will document this process with photos.
I am going to experiment with my hair.
I will document with photos.
I feel like this is me picking up from where I left off with my series of make up photos (which you can see at Flickr here, not all of them are there because I couldn't afford to re-up my flickr to pro). In that series I was relearning to look at and deal with my face.
I spent a lot of time during the process of taking those pictures breaking myself of the habit of retouching my face, of cropping out things I didn't like or not taking the picture if it wasn't pretty enough.
To quote Mrs. Tarrie B. Fuck being pretty.
There were peeks. But it wasn't a fully developed thing.
The deeper implication here is that I am making an active choice to disengage from the expectation that I will or should try to be beautiful in a mainstream kind of way.
This is not a statement of me giving in or giving up.
This is a fuck you.
This is a I will do what the fuck I want with my face because it pleases me.
For my pleasure.
If you whomever you are happen to dig it great.
If not, girl bye.
So I promise there will be more posts about this. As the weather gets better the lighting in my apartment will improve.
Later homies. Time for me to eat some delicious foods.