Monday, April 30, 2012

It's actually really simple.

Ahem.

I got a couple of messages after my last post and some people still seem to want to "prove" me wrong and tell me all the ways in which I am not an actual fat person.

Look, here's the thing.

Your subjective view of how fat I may or may not be, without you ever having seen me in person, been in a doctor's appointment with me or otherwise spent any time with me whatsoever, doesn't make a bit of difference as to the actual facts of my life.

Among those facts?

I as I said, live my life as a fat person.

You can disagree, send me bitchy notes and flounce all you like but that doesn't change the size of my ass or my experience of life.

There is a deep flaw to the logic that says that no one is fat unless they are as fat or fatter than you.

Your little slice of the universe has nothing to do with my life or my body, or anyone else's life or body.

Your opinion, and yes opinions can in fact be wrong, does not change anything aside from apparently closing some of your ears.

The measure of my fatness in terms of doctors is not measured by your perception of how fat I am.

It's really just not.

Let me illustrate this for you.

If I were not an actually fat person living an actually fat life, I doubt that three out of three of the perspective doctors I've contacted mentioned me losing 20, 25, and 35 pounds respectively without ever seeing me as a patient and as a "helpful" suggestion to me getting on the "road to wellness."

Now, please tell me when that happens to not fat people?

If I was not an actual fat person living an actual fat life I would have probably had a far easier time getting treated for old/new damage to my joints, my lifelong chronic (especially today I slept for two one hour chunks last night) insomnia, etc etc.

If I was not an actually fat person, the majority of the newsletters I get from my health insurance company would not say, HEY FATASS DO SOMETHING OR YOU'RE GONNA GET THE DIABEETUS/HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE/DEATH

Now in the context of fat acceptance I am on the small side of fat.

Some would say tiny fat being that I am (according to my measurements) just slightly smaller than the  Average American Woman.

That being what it is I have always owned my privilege in that context. There are experiences of fatness that I don't have. There are some for instance when it comes to buying clothes that I have to a degree.

An example, there is one store in the vicinity of where I live (I don't drive so I'm talking walking distance) out of about twelve that I can reliably know that I can walk in and buy a bra, a pair of panties and an outfit. It's a Fashion Bug.

Clothing for me is a deeply intersectional issue. My issues with clothes have always regardless of my level of fatness or thinness have always revolved more around my proportions and economic situation at any one time.

Is that better/worse than any other fat experience?

No.

It's just my individual experience.

To go into it a bit more I can't really shop at most Plus size specific stores. Most of the time I don't have enough ass meat to fill out pants when they fit my thighs and low waist. If they fit my ass they don't fit my thighs and natural waist. A lot of straight size clothing I have problems because I have really big boobs and shoulders.

Shit happens. That is the shit I tend to deal with.

For someone who is say a size 26 in my neighborhood, there is also that one store so in that respect we'd be in it together. In another area, my fatter friend would be shit out of luck and that's terrible.

Whether you are new to FA or an old hand at it please don't presume that smaller fat=better or easier fat.

We cannot get anything done by playing that game. It's all fucking bad. It's terrible to not get proper medical care, it's terrible to not be able to reliably walk into a store and buy some pants, it's terrible to be harassed, it's terrible to be afraid to go to the gym or a dance class because you're afraid that the people won't be fat friendly.

It's all fucking awful.

For each of us, the bad things are bad in their own special fucked up way.

Pretending that each of our own subjective fat experiences and bodies are the benchmark for all experiences is an awful habit and a hard one to break.

I do urge those of you who haven't flounced because of my perceived non fatness to do that work. It's hard. It's really fucking hard sometimes but in the end if you stick to your own small view of what is and isn't fat or what is or isn't a legitimate experience, we all lose.

Tomorrow I will announce something really awesome that is happening later today that was hooked up for me by my darling Marianne Kirby. I've been itching to tell the whole universe but you have to wait.

I feel pretty fucking good about it.

Also Maggie BABY you are so close to that pleasure reading. So. Close.

Also Maggie for summer for your poor feets, have you looked into the more elasticy type sandals? Damn naturally I can't find a picture right now but when I screwed up my toes on one foot and they were swelling (not to edema level but enough) those saved me. I will post them on tumblr for you if I find them.

GO GO GO BABY GO! YOU CAN MAKE IT!

Now the rest of you my homies and haters, I love you. I hope your Monday isn't too awful.

Homo Out.
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2 comments:

maggiemunkee said...

<3

and holy balls, i can't wait for your news! i'm psyched for you already.

witchyvixen said...

Dear Shannon, you are fat.

In my mind, saying that has no negative connotation, it is a descriptive term. Am I fatter than you? Yes. What difference does that make? The world uses the same term to describe both of us. We endure the same looks, comments, unwanted advice, and judgments. In this case size really does not matter. Fat haters are gonna hate on fatties no matter what. Are you less shit out of luck when it comes to buying clothes? Probably. But in some ways I think the day to day living can be worse for those on the lighter end of the fat scale. I used to be a "small" fat person and it seemed like sometimes the pressure was worse. Instead of working on accepting myself I felt compelled to hate on me even more because I was so much closer to whatever "ideal" is supposed to be than a super death fatz.

Fat is fat and that is that.

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