Thursday, July 26, 2012

Some Grown Folks Business.

So guess what my homies?

We have some grown folks dating advice to give.

If any of you have sex, dating, body, clothes or any kind of question you need advice about and would like me to chime in take your bad self right over here, then ask away. You can be totally anonymous. If you don't want your whole question quoted let me know. And then I'll answer and turn it over to the smartest people on the internet, my readers.

Now let us make with the dating advice.

Our new homie whom I will dub HotPants asked this:

So theres these two guys who r bff tht go to my college...one of them was diggn me and we ended up sleeping together when he was in my hometown over summer break. before that happened, around the last week of school I started crushing on his bestfriend. it turns out he had a gf so I kinda forgot about him. then a month later I slept with the the one who was diggin me..but now i feel like blew any chance i could have with the one i crushed on if he were to ever break up with his gf...
Okay my darling. I'm going to assume you're a youngster HotPants so here's what I say.

Short answer: Don't wait on someone to get out of a relationship. You are young, awesome and frankly there are eleventy million other boys in the sea who might catch your fancy. Pining for someone who is involved leaves you with no dates and not as much fun as you might want.

I won't say forget about him but honestly sugar, don't make this dude a priority in your life.

If you are having fun with the guy you're sleeping with have at it. Do start the habit young of making it clear with him what your relationship is about. By that I mean if it's a bootycall thing, make sure that you two have communicated with each other and agreed that it's a bootycall thing. If you can't come to a consensus about what you two are doing together tread carefully. You don't want drama if you say meet someone you want to date seriously and the Bootydude thinks he's your boyfriend.

If you do like this other dude, I would suggest staying friends if you are friends. That way if it happens that he's single and you're single you can give it a try. Although being that you have touched his best friend in a sexy type way, he might not go for that and I'd advice you to respect that.

In some friendships it might be totally fine. In their friendship who knows.

For you HotPants meet some other boys. If you're in college there are a lot of them to choose from and you have all the time in the world to maybe meet someone who really rocks your socks.

Right now if you decide to let go of the idea of dating boy#2, it is entirely okay to mourn that for a bit in whatever way works for you. It's natural to feel crappy when we don't have the opportunity to be with someone we have put some stock in having a relationship with. What's important (and I see this happen with young folks a lot) is not to make what you have into some super romantic big blown thing.

Remind yourself when you feel like if only this would happen he's The. One. remember that, he wasn't yours and that's okay.

You have a big fantastic life to look forward to. You have stuff you're interested in. You have hobbies, you have people you love. You have shit to do. Remember in this scenerio you are at the top of the list when it comes to importance.

That being what it is, if it makes you feel better to not associate with either of those boys until you have some distance on it that's awesome. If you can be around them and not be sad, that's awesome.

When I was younger I wish someone had told me it was OKAY to want someone, have it not work out and not have it be the end of the world. So I'm telling you.

If you never date dude#2 it's not the end of the world and he's not your only chance.

Now remember HotPants. Let yourself feel your feelings. If you feel kind of or really sad about it, it's okay and you can do that. If you're mad he has a girlfriend, that's okay too. If you want to have a good hard ugly cry and wallow while watching bad movies also totally fine.

What's important to remember that regardless of what feelings you are having they will pass. Things will get back to normal and at some point you will go out with your HotPants self and feel like the beautiful awesome person you have been.

Now I turn it over to the smarties.

That's you my homies.

Do you have any words of wisdom to share with HotPants? Support? Commiseration?

Have AT it my homies.

Also in case you didn't see the other day.

If you navigate to the sidebar on the right you can buy beautiful things via my Detrivore link and I make a few  pennies. AND with a lot of happy I say that my Babeland link has returned. You can buy ALL the things to make you tingly in the pants there and I also make some pennies.

Now I am very itchy and have epic cramps. So I'm goin to bed.

Homo Out.
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