Thursday, September 27, 2012

BUT why are you so angry.

Among the notes and things I've gotten about my entry yesterday.

So today I'll be more plain and in depth about it.

Let's forget Lady Gaga because it's not personal with her.

To be perfectly clear here since my words yesterday were taken by some as me saying Thin White Ladies CAN'T do or talk about Body Acceptance.


The issue is when Thin White Women who are able bodied become the only voices worthy or given empathy when it comes to body acceptance or any issue really.

Whiteness as a thing is always and forever upheld. When it comes to "lady" issues, the face of those issues is all too often a Thin Pretty White Woman who is beleaguered by her own beauty. White Women particularly thin attractive White women are always given space, are always given room for their voices.

What ends up happening is they take shit over.

This is not okay with me.

When all of my work talking, writing about, talking to other people about bodies and acceptance gets boiled down and paraphrased by Thin White Women I get angry.

Every issue concerning women is overrun and often taken over by White women.

Feminism, Body politics, activism of many flavors.

White women are always given the benefit of the doubt, people will go to great lengths to defend the purity and beauty of White women always at the expense of POC. Always.

Think I'm the only person who thinks this?

How about some links about White Lady Privilege?

How about some links about how specifically this has impacted me?

Here's the thing.

I am angry because I have to fight tooth and nail to even be occasionally humanized muchless be treated as human. I am angry because people tell me that it's terrible for me to tell Thin White Ladies to shut the fuck up and let other people talk.

I'm angry because you can never tell Whiteness no.

You can never say NO I won't.

I am angry because too many people skipped right over my very salient points about the erasure of the fat people who have been working and suffering and writing and talking about bodies and acceptance to tell me to essentially stop being mean to the Nice White Ladies.

I am angry because it is always an issue when I refuse to be silenced, when I step out of my subordinate position in society to say no, Thin White Lady this is not the time for yours to be the voice of this issue. Be quiet.

I get told that it's awful that I'm  upset and people say shit like boo racism, but then turn around and tell me that I should stop being such a bully to the poor White people.

There is no body acceptance that is spear headed and visualized by Thin White Able Bodied Cis women anywhere that has anything to do with my body.

In case you can't tell from my photo on the top right or ALL the times I've mentioned it let me show you a photo:

This is why I still will not call myself a feminist.

SO many of you just don't understand how awful it is to tell me that I should hush up and let the nice White ladies go ahead.

So many of you refuse to acknowledge that there is no way and it is cruel to tell me either directly or indirectly that my Blackness shouldn't come into play. That I should scrape and step aside to make sure the White Ladies whom, we all know EVERYONE will rush to defend even when they are dead ass wrong.

This plays right into the trope that says that not only is it aspirational to want to look, be, and live like a Nice Thin White Cis Able Bodied woman but that if one vocally objects, or Gods forbid an Angry Black woman such as myself loudly says NO in no uncertain terms that it is in fact the poor White Ladies who are the victims.

If all you can do is come to the space of a woman of color and point out the plight of the poor white lady get the fuck out.

I have nothing for you.

I am not the droids you are looking for.

It is too exhausting and too painful for me to ask nicely, yell, beg and explain about these things.

If you can understand nothing else I've said understand this.

I am not the one with this bullshit. I am not going to be the sweet Negress who gently guides the White people to the promised land of understanding and harmony.


Because too many of you have fucked with me about it, bothered me, been deliberately obtuse until some other White person says oh hay this is fucked up.

So no.

That's not happening here right now.

Let us end here with me saying this.

If the only thing you understand about the righteous anger of a person who has had their work stolen, who has been run out of and excluded from spaces I am passionate about because I refuse to not be Black or refuse to let bullshit slide by for the cause; if the only thing you understand is awww what about the White ladies, find another blog to read.

That's all.

Homo Out.



Halla said...

I'm a fat white woman. I get it, or I am trying to. Regardless, it's not up to you to educate me until I do. Just wanted to send a comment. Pleas don't shut up, please never be quiet - you're scary passionate and eloquent and you're a heroine of mine.

Kristie said...

"I'm angry because you can never tell Whiteness no."

Fat white lady who acknowledges her privilege here, and this ^^^ is really it, isn't it? You can't tell any kind of privilege no without the privileged getting their noses out of joint, as if the "no" they receive as part of your cultural criticism is a thousand times worse than the thousand "nos" you get every day just trying to live your damn life. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be POC; but I do know what it's like to be a white lady, and we absolutely get the breaks. Keep speaking truth, Shannon. Not all of the people who need to hear it will, but some will, and that is all to the good.

Tapati said...

White Ladies who have trouble getting it should think a moment about interactions with men who just don't get it. How about the stay at home daddies who get SO much attention when they say how hard it is? Women, rightly, roll our eyes at the media validation and now a TV show devoted to their hardship. Mothering? Just something women do, no biggie. Men don't get their privilege any more than thin white ladies do.

I'm sorry you have to keep repeating things we all should know by now and even more so that when others paraphrase your words suddenly they get the validation you should have gotten. That's just totally fucked up.

Sonja Enqvist said...

Thank you for making me think. Thank you for making me question my beliefs and prejudices.
I can understand why those with privelige question you and your assumptions, but this is your blog and no matter what you have a right to point out things you find wrong. Keep on writing, you're awesome!

Fat Fox said...

In the next day or so, I should have a guest post going up over at Fat & Not Afraid about the two most recent posts you made. My only comments in addition to the links are:

"I read these articles. I learned from them. My goal here is to share them and hopefully use a bit of my white (not thin) lady privilege to boost the audience of these amazing posts."

I hope it helps bring even one more person to read what I think is a very salient and important set of posts.

withoutscene said...

<3 <3 <3 <3 seriously <3 <3 <3 <3

JoGeek said...

I think one of the many red flags of privilege is a person's belief that they get to decide when it's appropriate for someone else to be angry. It means they feel they have the authority to decide what's offensive to a group that has nothing to with them. It's an overt "status" assumption. The "just calm down" or "why are you so angry" response is bullshit and demeaning. Angry and passionate people make things happen. They are a catalyst for change. You have to CARE about something to change it.

Thank you for this and your many other posts. I hope you're not discouraged by those who have trouble coping with emotions they have no control over.

Anonymous said...

Badass. Tell it.

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