Back in January I posted a little thing about being an adult and getting into your first place of your own. Our newly Adult homie is back and asked me about entertaining and entertainment and how to act.
First let's be clear. When I say adult it doesn't matter your age. I'm talking about a time when you are taking care of shit on your own. Maybe you've been partnered or married for a long time or maybe you just don't know this stuff.
Our homie basically wanted to know what to do with themselves when they are home alone and how to entertain without either going broke or being super anxious. They are settled in at their job, have a handle on those bills and shit.
Ready y'all okay.
Firstly let me say this. When living by yourself and having an ultimate amount of privacy for the first time one of the true joys of that is being able to do what you want, when you want in your own damn house.
One of my personal favorites is to cue up music I like and bootyshake my way around the house. Often in my underwear.
Do ALL the dances. Cabbage patch, (note all the links are instructional videos on youtube.) Dougie, Walk it out, Flail around with not one ounce of rhythm.
If your go to dance moves involve some Napoleon Dynamite level pelvic thrusts. Get it.
The beauty of this is there is no one there to judge you, nobody can tell you to stop fucking around and clean your room. It's your space.
Other stuff you can do to entertain yourself.
Masturbation of course. Cue up whatever you're into, take your pants off and get down with yourself. Take your time, do it on the living room floor. Matter of fact if you have a day off, spend the whole day masturbating and eating pizza or whatever you like. Don't answer the phone or the door just love the one you're with.
Have sex with anybody you damn well please. Want to have a one night stand then tell them to go home? Go ahead. Want to have some gay sex? GET THAT GAY SEX. It's your place. Have your lube and safer supplies at the ready and go to it.
Learn how to make one awesome thing. I'm talking food here. One of the other fantastic things about living by yourself is you can learn to say make an awesome frittata or pie or whatever and you can screw up as many times as you like. Once you get it the way you want it, TADAAA show your friends. They will think you are magic.
Try to learn a new skill out of the public view. Learn how to knit or decoupage or whatever without pressure from watching other people be seemingly instantly awesome at it. The internet is at your fingertips. Once you have some supplies for your chosen skill, turn to the google machine and search for tutorials. No harm no foul if you discover you suck at it. And if you are shy or self conscious, nobody saw what happened.
The beauty of this whole situation is that the world is your oyster and your shell is closed. You can close your curtains and lay around bucky naked all day, eating cookies and watching porn because it's your damn house.
Here's the thing. Honestly the most wonderful and memorable parties etc haven't been fancy and full of Martha Stewarty shit. The best ones involved food from the dollar store or group fast food orders, people I love and nonsense.
Here are some ideas.
Have a grown up slumber party.
Invite friends to come over and stay the night. If you and your friends like to drink try this. In your invitation ask that everyone bring the supplies for their favorite cocktail so everyone can share. Do you know someone who makes awesome jello shots? Ask them to make some.
BYOB is not shameful. We're all broke. We all like to party. We can all chip in.
If you are the type who likes to have activities here are some fun ones.
Send everyone this video link. Have a twerk off. Everybody gets some prize if you want to make them and you all bootyshake and have a good time.
Play an adult version of caption this. Save some funny images on your computer and if you want to print them out or just show them to everyone. Whomever comes up with the best caption wins. Pee yourselves laughing.
If you're less activity inclined make a list of stupid movies. Send the list to everyone invited and have them vote on what you will all watch and snark on. I'm talking yelling at the TV, telling jokes, nerd meltdowns. Make it a free for all.
Talk about bad books.
Make each other laugh.
THe important things aren't how you decorated or if you made the best canapes or even if your house looks like you got it styled by someone.
What's important is having people you love or want to get to know in your home and having a good time.
Get goofy. Act like a pure fool.
The big secret to this part of Adulting is not how fancy you get. It's how much fun and awesome you get. If fun and awesome for you is having a quiet sit down with people you like and watching a show that's awesome. If you want to get drunk and roll around on the floor wrestling like drunken baby bears do it.
Do each others nails, do each others hair. Play touch football, set up a slip n slide. Eat ice cream. Whatever.
Now I turn it over to the most awesome people on the internet. Do you have ideas about these things? Share with the class please.
Now my darlings happy Friday. Have a wonderful weekend. <3 p="">