Thursday, December 12, 2013

#fatmicroaggressions

First this happened on twitter.

I participated a bit and got bored but let's talk about it.

First remember where the term microaggressions came from. read here.

Now like other issues among marginalized people especially these days a lot of things that come from POC are being used with other issues.

I am semi uncomfortable with this.

I am partly uncomfortable because too many people decide that once a term or phrase gets co-opted that is just what it means. The words we use when talking about marginalization whether it stems from race or size etc, have history and meaning. It is important to understand this before going full steam ahead.

Now that we have that out of the way let's talk about what microaggressions can do to us.

If you are a person who has heard the little digs your whole life, there is a large tendency to absorb them and come to believe them as the truth. That you deserve them.

As science and our lived experience has taught us, shame is a shitty way of life for everyone.

What do we do?

Personally I don't play the game. I've found that most of this back handed "concern" about my supposed dire health is rooted in people being assholes. They want to humiliate me into changing my body to suit them. Any concern for my actual health is never a thought.

In what universe does mooing at someone in public help them?

It is more crap in the cesspool of abusive behavior that passes for "concern" when it comes to fat people.

The fact that a fat person can't exercise in public, walk around, live their life without some asshole needing to humiliate them is proof that no they don't really care.

Here's the fact my homies.

Someone who takes time of of their day to say something shitty to you about your body, is not being helpful. They don't care about you. They don't give a shit about the reality of your health or anything else. They just want to be right.

There is no good reason to go out of your way to say or do something mean to someone to "improve" their life or body.

None.

The line between micro and outright aggression is razor thin.

I personally refuse to believe that there is anything micro about the aggression people have demonstrated when it comes to the size of my ass.

I'm talking the insults, the moos, the backhanded compliments, the concern" when hey question what food I happen to be buying or eating at any one time, the proselytizing for the diet of the moment, the apparent super human ability to see my blood sugar, blood pressure or other vital stats.

It is flat out aggression.

It is war against my body and I m not having it.

I will cut it off, I will stare at people like they just grew another head until they flush and turn away, I will loudly proclaim that if they are so worried about what food I eat they are welcome to buy my food for me, if they dn't like what I am wearing they can pay me a large salary and I will wear whtever uniform they want while I am working.

Basically as I have said before fuck you pay me.

Otherwise fuck off and mind your own godamn business.

Want to "help" me?

Pay me a lot of money so I don't have stress about bills.
Demand that EVERYONE including Death Fat people have access to decent diverse clothing without searching the ends of the Earth.
Demand that EVERYONE has acess to basic quality health care without being abused by the system.
Demand that Gyms disallow harassment of fat people while they exercise.
Stop abusing people with different bodies than yours.

Oh but wait, your method is so much better right?

It's so much easier to try and knock people down and feel good about the fact that you told the fatty and "did something" about them than actually working for the betterement of everyone.

Right.

So my homis, this is the hard part.

Let's stop playing those reindeer games. Stop taking it to heart. Remember that people who hurt you are not good for you. Even if it is your family and they are the people saying these things to you, they are not in the right.

It doesn't matter how fat or thin you are no one has a right to abuse you because of the size of your ass. They are wrong. It is okay to tell them they are wrong and that their comments and behavior is not okay.

You person, with the big fat fat ass and you with the teeny tiny ass have the right to live with dignity and to walk around not being abused.

Do what you have to do to survive.

Need therapy? Get it.

Yell at people being assholes to you on the street? Do it.

Cut people out of your life if they can't stop? Go.

I know this is really, REALLY difficult and a lot of us can't et away. But you can work on yourself and deal with yourself and help yourself.

Don't give the assholes all your power they don't deserve it.

Remember you are not alone, you're not the only person this happens to. It sucks for all of us and we all understand.

As the saying goes, don't let the bastards get you down.
Share/Bookmark

No comments:

Subscribe To My Podcast