Wednesday, July 24, 2013

But, you're just a fat bitch.

I know I promised we'd fashion today.

However, we have something more important to talk about.

We have a female pronoun using Anon Homie who needs some advice.

I will dub her, Flummoxed.
.
So Flummoxed asked me how to deal with this sort of thing because she is new to talking to other people about her body and other bodies.

We have all heard it, fat or not.

"You're just a fat bitch."

"Whatever you're ugly/fat/stupid"

Those supposed rebuttals to anything someone who is not "hot enough" to be believed. Those are the statements that are supposed to hurt us so bad we shut up.

You are supposed to be so hurt that the person speaking doesn't want to fuck you that it negates any validity whatever you're saying might have had.

This behavior often from men or people wanting to flex hard on the internet comes from a couple of places:


  • You are making sense and are being factual.
  • You have expressed a view that jars their world view.
  • You are not cowed by your supposed inferior position.
  • You have not expressed upset at not caring whether or not they want to fuck you.
  • You said anything.
Here's the thing Flummoxed, most people who do this have nothing to say.

Let that soak in for a minute. They might yammer for a quarter page comment telling you ALL the terrible things they think of you, wish you death at the end but there is normally no substance to what they say.

If you read closely or listen closely, most of the people who make these comments actually don't make them in any context save for seeing that you said or are fat.

They aren't concerned with the substance of what you've said. 

A good example is some of the commentary I got both publicly and privately after I did my interview at The Root. 

Not one person who engaged with me individually (I stopped reading comments on the article itself) actually had anything to say about me talking about my bodily autonomy. There was a cavalcade of things that revolved around my appearance, how much I was and am not sexy,  references to me being the downfall of insurance, using up all the insurance etc etc with some super special ad hominem attacks in my email that resulted in expensive offers to be "personally motivated to change".

Being that I have been trolled, insulted etc etc for so long both on the intertubes and in meatspace here's the thing.

I've learned to understand that the people who say that to me, have nothing to offer in reality.

Beyond that, if someone steadfastly refuses to actually engage with the meat of what I've said or written, why should I bother debating with them?

The other thing I've learned is that someone who can't or won't give me enough respect to actually listen to (or read) what I am saying, chances are there's nothing I can say or do to change that. And that's okay.

It really is.

The other thing I've learned is that those people are worth nothing to me.

I give not one hot fuck what they have to say. 

Every now and then I will explain to someone precisely why I feel this way about them but 80% of the time I don't waste my fucks or my energy.

No time for that bullshit.

And it is 99% of the time pure shitty behavior.

It's not to make a point about obesity, it's not to demonstrate how much they care for your health, they don't care about health care accessibility, they don't care about not being an asshole or a bully, they don't care.

If you want to test my theory, the next time someone starts in on how you are the face or voice of obesity or they are ragging on what they presume you eat. Ask them questions.

Don't be mean or shitty just ask some questions. My favorites include things like:

  • So if I should lose weight, and to do that I should as you say put down the fork. Presuming I survive starvation at what point is it okay for me to eat?
  • So if I also don't find you attractive, can we get back to the topic at hand?
  • Okay so if I shouldn't eat this, would you buy me what I'm supposed to eat?
You see where I'm going.

Normally when I do this several things happen. The other person often gets irate and starts screaming at me about what a fat ugly stupid bitch I am.

If that doesn't make me cry or flounce away with hurt feelings often they will walk away feeling all puffed up about how They Told the Fatty.

In reality they did not tell anyone anything.

The fact is when people try really hard to derail whatever you're saying by whatever means necessary, you are probably on the right track. 

So my darling Flummoxed here is my real advice.

  1. Don't waste your time on assholes or bullies. You don't have to. They are not really worth your time, energy or fucks. 
  2. Yes even if they are your friends or relatives. If they behave this way they are not showing you they really give a tin shit about your actual health or what you have to say.
  3. Do not let people who can't behave ruin what you are doing. When this thing starts happening shut it down.
Let's pause here. How do we shut it down. Here's what I favor depeing on the situation.
  • Dead blank stare. 
  • Say very firmly, yes I am a fat bitch and?
  • Great let's not fuck themn. Hw about we get back to what I was actually saying?
Or my penultimate one, ignore them.

If they can't act like they have no sense, they don't relly exist in my world behond giving them the dead stare, or deleting their comment from my wee blog here. 

Remember Flummoxed no one can control how and when and where you deal with bullshit. You are driving the bus. If you don't want to deal with someone you are totally free to tell them or not, no I am not dealing with your shit.

Flummoxed baby basically fuck em. Until you can learn to stand up for yourself when you want to, do not engage. Your mental health comes first. Beyond that, if you want to learn the stuff I talked about here get it. If not, you don't have to.

Now I tuturn things over to you my homies. homies. Do you have more advice Commiseratin? Solidarity? Bring it my homies.

Homo Out.

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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

To Continue from yesterday.

I got some questions about my post yesterday so let's talk about it more.

Anon said this:

I think this is a great post and it brings to mind another issue that I have run across in the general FA'sphere. Sometimes I'll read a missive by a super fat person who is basically saying FA is not for them because they happen to be really sick and really do have issues like joint pain, diabetes, high cholesterol, and other "fat related" illnesses and they say things like "you don't understand FA activist, I need diets, I need WLS!" and I just don't know what to say. Because if someone wants to do that, who am I to say no? It's their body. And yet i think FA has something to say to them, but I'm not sure what they can hear and what they are willing to hear. I hope this makes sense!;
Laura dropped this in the comments:

Anonymous, I come across that issue sometimes too. The best response I've seen is this post by Kate Harding. It's six years old, but still completely relevant
http://kateharding.net/2007/10/29/reality-vs-relativism/
Okay.

I personally was not/am not really into that Kate Harding post.

Particularly this:

But dieting and WLS are still not good solutions for “some people.” They are lousy fucking solutions for everyone.
Now I know this bucks against what a lot of people in FA believe but I personally am not putting that on people who are uncomfortable in their bodies for whatever reason.

I also won't sign off and say that weight loss can never and will never do anything to help anybody which at times is how FA can come off about the subject. I don't believe that.

I don't think it's ideal but frankly they are the options some people have. The reality is, at some point there are people who are just going to not be okay with weight gain/whatever their weight. That isn't invalid, it isn't antithetical to fat or body acceptance it's human nature. I don't personally believe in alienting those people if they are not willing to convert to a no diet ever type life.

I would never ever presume to tell people no you shouldn't/can't make that decision because it's antithetical to my beliefs/science whatever.

I would say that WLS is often dangerous and help people get information that isn't biased towards getting surgery. I have told people about things like fat yoga etc.

I don't believe that it serves people who are Deathfat or superfat to suddenly adopt the same kind of paternalistic YER WRONG attitude that Health as morality types take with anyone who doesn't look healthy.

I just don't.

One of the other reasons I don't take the DO NOT EVER stance is because I understand that sometimes losing that ten pounds you've gained means you don't have to spend money on new pants. For me weight fluctuation go beyond self image and mean I will panic (as I've talked about) because if it's cold I don't have pants to wear, I don't drive and need pants when it's cold. There are situations in our lives when yes, that ten pounds is vital and I would never tell someone they can't or shouldn't deal with it the way they see fit.

Also a few people (new readers I'm assuming) don't really understand what I talk about when I'm talking about the health obsessed.

By that I'm talking about the people who use the appearance as health as barometers for any/all of the following:


  • Morality
  • Fuckability (as part of being a good personal)
  • Using it as the basis of whether or not to treat someone with dignity or respect.
  • Using it as a weapon to batter and bully people.
Etc etc.

We can use the term Healthists that works. It's all the same deal.

I'm not talking about people who are very concerned with their health. That is not a problem and I encourage that. Get it if you are into it.

My problem is when people mistake the binarist ideal of Thin Pretty White Lady Beauty as being what Health (capital H) looks like.

Health is not an appearance.

Health is not a number on the BMI chart or scale.

Health is not all or nothing.

Essentially my problem is with people who do things like try to take food out of my cart at the store, who talk to me like I am a toddler if I have something that isn't on their personal idea of good food, people who think it's totally appropriate to stop me on the street to lecture me about the size of my ass, or to inquire about my blood sugar levels or blood pressure.

Those people are a fucking menace and they are everywhere from the street to my doctors office.

So again new folks coming in from links elsewhere or from the Fatosphere.

Remember this is next level shit.

This isn't' let's hold hands 101.

This is let's fuck shit up 505.

Next thing.

A couple of people recently have noticed that while I am generally having a fat centric space I do make a lot of effort to be inclusive.

Fact is FA is not just for fat people. I do believe that some conversations and spaces need to be only for fat people. That said I believe he concepts of FA need to be spread to the masses. Beyond how fat or not fat they are. 

As I've said before I don't believe that change when it comes t bodily politics will come from the top dow from the macro culture down to the micro culture.

FA is something that needs to spread micro up. You apply these things in your life, you share them with your friends and loved ones and bang boom bam. People with bodies are doing stuff that is detrimental to fat and body shaming society.

That is about all for today. Tomorrow we fashion and I want to talk to my poor fat folks with particular aesthetics and how we can make it work.

Homo out.

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Monday, July 22, 2013

How to know if you are not doing Fat Acceptance Right.

Not just fat acceptance but anything to do with body politics.

Ahem let's get started shall we?

Number one thing I see in FA and body politics in general especially from people new to any kind of body politic things is the set up of a good fatty/bad fatty or good self esteem/bad self esteem type dichotomy.

These things are normally rooted in a hard hold on sizeism.

Normally the belief that if we just show the world that us fatties, but you know only up to a certain magical number of pounds, are good and healthy and so awesome. We ear awesome diets, we work out in awesome ways and we are just like every other health obsessed asshole on the planet.

The problem with that is that it buys into and plays to health as goodness/morality and lookism.It is deeply detrimental to the idea of bodily autonomy if we promote the idea that if we look a certiain way or can somehow prove that we are better than those who are not putting forward an image of what health can be in a binarist, absolute heath or unhealthy way of looking at things.

Furthermore, it is also buying into the idea that there is a moral failing associated with being over a certain number of pounds.

Those ideals and ways of thinking are extremely detrimental to not only fat acceptance but to any body politics movement.

Second thing.

People in FA/body politics circles tend to be very narrow in their scope. All too often (read most of the time) our spokespeople are cis, good looking in a traditional way (as in closer to the Thin White Pretty Lady Ideal) and able bodied.

This sets up every one of us (myself included) who are nowhere near that ideal to even wave at, up for being bigger targets.

Not to mention the fact that a lot of us are ignored from inside FA/BP (body politics for our purposes) and eventually a lot of us wander off because we feel invisible, silenced, ignored or otherwise edged out.

This is especially a big deal problem in FA.

If I had a dollar for every conversation I've witnessed or tried to take part in where normally White people are asking where the POC, Death Fat, Disabled Fats etc were in FA conversations and there we were, only to be met with louder voices saying OKAY WE ARE WORKING ON IT rather than those people shutting the hell up to let the actually marginalized present people speak for ourselves.

It was a problem back in the day on Fatshionista and other LJ FA, it was a problem when I was talking body politics with a group of people here locally in Seatown, it was a problem when I first started reading books about body image 20 years ago.

It is a problem.

The solution to this is easy and almost impossible.

A lot of people just need to shut the hell up for five minutes.

No seriously it is in fact that simple of a fix to start safeguarding inclusion.

Shut Up.

Third.

Forever and always we cannot continue to not talk about really superfat people.

I'm talking about people who are fat enough to be the headless fatties of exploitative "Health" news.

They too deserve what we are all trying to get. Namely bodily autonomy, respectful decent health care, not to be demonized to the point of being terrorized out of living their lives or to death.

I am dead ass serious about this.

If your FA or body politics leave out the people who appear to be at the extreme ends of weight you are not doing it right. If you say I'm all for fat acceptance unless you're really really fat. Nope stop.

Nope.

NOPE.

I'm talking to you thin people too.

Remove any caveats to statements about self love, bodily autonomy, respect, etc.

If you are prone to saying, believing or thinking that all this stuff is okay unless one weighs however much, shut the entire fuck up. Think about what you're doing.

If you engage in this type of behavior and your targets are Death Fat people or conversely people who are severely underweight you are doing it wrong.

Those sick looking (in your estimation) bodies don't need you to contribute to them being dehumanized. If you didn't realize before let me tell you now. If you play these kinds of numbers games, if you spout Real Women Have curves level shit, you are damaging not only the cause of any body politics or fat acceptance you ar actively contributing to a system that dehumanizes people.

If you can't bring yourself to believe that any person at any weight deserves the same respect you yourself do, at least have enough of a conscious to not say that to people. Don't help out the opposition by placing yourself in the good category.

I will leave you with this.

If you want to fix these things, sometimes you ned to take a step back and not take up all the space.  You have to swallow your defensiveness and need to be the One True Voice of All The Things.

Understand that intersectionality matters and to some of us is everything. If you cannot or will not understand why this is important, this is not the spot for you and I will go so far as to say that before you engage in any flavor of activism you take some time to learn about these things so at the end we are all successful.

That's all for now.

Homo Out.


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Monday, July 15, 2013

Oh the Terror.

Recently I was watching some random video on the internet and there was a long ad featuring the Headless Fattys.

Headless fat people were going about their business, one person was walking at a fair clip another was paused mid step checking their phone.

Interspersed with these images were thin White women in workout wear buying lots of brightly colored vegetables. And at the end there was a photo of a perplexed looking Fat Lady with a head looking confusedly between a large cake and an apple.

The inference here, though it wasn't stated was that fat people are too stupid to know the difference between vegetables and cake. That those headless mystery fat people must be fat because they clearly don't know how to buy vegetables.

The actual commercial was supposed to be a nutritional PSA.

Now if we are to believe the messages this is what we learn:


  1. Nice White Ladies in Workout wear would never buy or eat cake.
  2. Nice White Ladies in Workout wear are really proud of themselves when they buy celery.
  3. Headless fat people just walking around being fat and dehumanized are too dumb to eat vegetables.
  4. Fat women can't parse the difference between a cake and an apple.
In this case the message was ruined by the delivery.

Here's the thing. I am all for health and food PSAs. However when these things target only people who don't look, healthy the message becomes a problem.

I put a large part of the terror over The Obesity, down to campaigns like this. Rather than presenting good healthful information with a wide variety of bodies representing that information, the target is always fat people.

It amazes me when I see how many people don't believe if one looks healthy or thing that one can't possibly be unhealthy. That attitude is not only toxic to our mental health (yes you thin people too) but also dangerous. 

Rather than the lessons we learned in elementary school things like eat vegetables so you can grow up big and strong, we get the message that eating well or exercising is so we won't get fat.

Rather than the message being that eating well and exercising is good for all of our bodies, the fat body is deemed absolutely unhealthy and at the bottom of a binarist view of health and the thin body is healthy.

One of the things I would like to see happen if we're really going to act like we care about the general health of people is a reduction in this type of scare tactic OH SHIT DON'T GET FAT type of thing.

Part of the ramifications of what society has done is to traumatize a lot of people out of caring about their health. 

People have been so abused by our culture and by the people who are supposed to be the ones who help us be as healthy can we can be, they cannot engage with their own health or fitness because it is painful for them.

Let's look at it like this.

Let us pretend you have a puppy and every time that puppy walks on grass you hit it and yell at it. The puppy grows up and doesn't want to be hit so they don't go onto the grass. Would you wonder why?

If the answer is yes you are an abusive person and I suggest seeking therapy.

If you doubt my metaphor ask yourself this. If you can believe that an animal can be abused to the point that they are afraid of grass or men or tall people etc, how is it that much more of a stretch to understand that people can be abused out of their own health care?

Doctors and nurses snickering at you, rolling their eyes at you if you assert yourself or try too hard to get adequate treatment. If you don' absolutely bow down to the weightloss as curative for everything, you are branded a "bad" patient. A fat person can't often times just go to the gym without being stared at and people being ugly.

All of those stresses mount up to a lot of people who just can't engage with health or fitness talk at all because of how abused they have been surrounding their bodies.

That is wrong.

What we need is instead of a moralistic finger pointing greedy weightloss industry is some facts.

Why is it so hard for the people who do these things to say, if you are sedentary (note how weight is not mentioned here) you might be at risk for X set of problems. How about we lower your chances?

Instead of a commercial showing a befuddled fat woman with cake and an apple, why not have a medium average sized person, saying I would like to eat an apple. No cake needs to be involved because I will go out on a limb and assume that we all know the difference between fucking cake and an apple.

Instead of banking on shame why not infuse some joy?

Here's what I propose. People with bodies reject this ideology. Thin person at the doctor, when your doctor praises your thinness say can you not do that? Remind your doctor that maybe you don't exercise and maybe you don't eat all that well and tha no, you have not accomplished anything awesome by not being fat.

I'm serious. Anybody can do this.  When people praise you for not looking unhealthy, feel free to school them. 

Similarly if people want to lecture or talk down t you because you don't look healthy or thin school them too. One of my personal fvorite tactics is to aggressively question people like that about how they got ahold of my medical records and if they are stealing my identity. BEcause the bare naked fact is, the only way someone would know my BP, blood sugar numbers or whether or not I was about to drop dead at any moment. would be for them to have looked at my actual medical records. 

I don't believe that cultural change on the issues of fatnessis going to come from the top down. If we can change the cultue in our immediate vicinitysome stuff can be done.. Maybe you mention a fat blog or other body politics to someone who then starts implementing something they read about in their lives. Maybe they just stop talking badly about their own body. 

People they talk to will probably notice this and want to talk to them about it. 

People talk. They blog. They do what comes naturally.

This is how we will change things in my view. From the micro to the macro. We may not be able to stop the headless fatty commercials or force health care people to treat us like human beings but damn it, we can make those changes in our own lives and hope that they spread.

Homo Out.


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Wednesday, July 10, 2013

For Parents.

Anon wanted to hear some of my ideas about raising tiny humans with good self image etc.

Now I'm going to be kind of tough on you for a minute parents. So let's do this.

The first thing I need for parents (and please not I include ANYBODY who is in charge of the care of a tiny human) to do is work on your own issues.

The thing is tiny humans are way more observant than we think. Tiny humans hear and see everything and even if they don't have the vocabulary to say so, they will know if you are bullshitting them.

First thing is this. Stop talking about bodies in a value assessed way. I mean that. Including pining for the thighs you had at 16, including talking about how marvelous your body could be or might be or is in your dreams. Start now. Stop doing that.

Second, do not talk shit about your own body. Don't say self deprecating things like, once on the lips bablabla, don't talk about how if only you could get your fat ass in some skinny jeans.

Tiny humans will take that in and learn that if their parental unit has a terrible body ,their bodies must be terrible too. So stop it.

Also don't fat talk. Learn to change your vocabulary. If you are bloated don't say you feel fat say you feel bloated. Or if you're sad say you're sad.

The point of this is to not only teach yourself to value your body but to show your kids that it is possible to value their own bodies.

Think of it this way. If a tiny human grows up hearing how awful Mummy's fat ass is and they become teenaged humans and have a fat ass, what is the logical conclusion? Their ass is awful too. So start there.

Next thing is don't not praise your kids looks. Be unreserved and unabashed at telling your tiny humans, my GOSH you are a beautiful human. Tell them they are smart and strong. Tell them that yes, sometimes they poop on the floor but that they are magnificent and it would be awesome if they didn't poop on the floor. Also pay attention to how your tiny humans process this. If you have a more shy tiny human don't yell out the car window that your tiny human is the most awesome. If you are caring for a tiny human with a big extrovert personality throw a goddamn party.

Now I also want you to be mindful about how you talk about other people. Practice saying to your tiny human, wow that person has on some really fancy shoes or has an awesome hairdo. This next bit is hard.

When your tiny human inevitably asks why is that person so fat here is where you can do some good. If you believe in a deity you can say without judgement, because (insert deity here) made them that way. Tiny human will probably ask why in which case you can say, I dunno maybe someday we can ask (insert deity here).

Don't freak out. Don't hush your kid. If the person you're talking about can hear you, nod at them and smile.

TIny humans are insatiably curious. they are curious about bodies especially bodies that are different from their own and their immediate adults. Let them ask questions, if they say something rude you can say, that is rude please don't talk that way.  Teach your kids how to ask before touching someone.

Basically teach your kids to treat other people the way you would like people to treat you.

As for health and fitness that can be a slippery slope,

If you  yourself don't like to be pressured or shamed into eating one thing over another, don't do that to your kids Easier said than done.

Don't (in my opinion) buy into the hype of health and fitness language. Don't battle, fight etc. Avoid judgement and value laden phrases. Be sensible.

Barring allergies most likely having a cheeseburger at Micky D's every now and then won't be the most awful thing ever. And remember, when tiny humans become teenaged humans if you denied them everything with flavor, salt, fat and sugar they are probably going to gorge themselves away from home and that is not good for anybody.

Let me give you an example from my life.

I knew a woman with a teenaged daughter. This woman was so hellbent on her child being healthy and fit she not only made food outside of a narrow ideal evil but she also spet a lot of time shaming her kid (not on purpose_) abot her desire to try things like whole milk and Burger King,

As happens her daughter once she had her own money would eat herself sick on all of the verboten foods and they would have these epic fights about it. Not only did it cause them both to have some terrible issues about food but it also caused a big painful rift in their relationship.

As the saying goes, the road to hell is paverd wih good intentions.

Instead of insisting that everyone have X amount of xercise a day because HEALTH AND OH SHIT DON'T BE FAT- find out what your tiny human likes to do.

Maybe you have a tiny Human who loves to dance, or swim, or play a sport or go for nature walks. Also keep a eye on yourself. If your kid doesn't want to go for a walk don't get anxious. Keep yourself in check and remember that even the best intentioned encouragement can turn into shame in the ears of your child.

Anon you in particular. Since you are expetcting a new tiny human (CONGRATULATIONS!) may I suggest some special things for you and Tiny Human#1.

This is stuff I've done with children I have cared for at various times..

Mommy Tiny human bedtime stretching. Especially for kids like I was who might struggle with sleep some light chill out stretching before bed might be nice. Nice easy gentle chill out stretches. You get to bond, it's good for both of you and it's a nice way to introduce stretching. And with Tiny Human#1 n still being pretty ittle you can cuddle and have good loving physcal contact.

Mommy and Tiny Human dance party. Put on some goofy music with a beat and shake what you got. When Tiny Human #2can hold their head up get them in on it too. I stand by my belief that all babies love to dance. Let the babies dance. You dance too. Get goofy, teach the babies how to do the twist or bust out your best running man.

Basically I'm talking about making physical activity at whatever level you're all able to do a good time. Laugh. Smile, act like a fool. Show those tiny humans that it's okay to enjoy being in your body. As they get older even if you are the ost body positive parent they may still have issues.

Let's talk about the day your kid has an issue with their body. Maybe they are't fast runners or soe little asshole at school said they are fat or gross.

Never invalidate how they feel about this. Don't shove the happy thoughts, let them have their feelings and let them know that a.) the person who hurt their feelings is being a jerk and b.) it's okay if they are sad or feeling gross. tell them that no, not everyone is going to be a super fast runner or be thin and that is okay.

My idea is to reinforce the idea that their body in whatever configuration it is in, is a good and awesome body. that their body is special and that they don't have  to feel bad about it. Remember to help them think and feel through it. Tell them that sometimes you don't feel so awesome about your body and how you are dealing with it.

Don't necessarily bombard your kids with your issues but let them know that it's normal and okay to have a hard time.


To prepare read fat blogs. read books about body image and get familiar with perspectives outside of your own. Have reading materials around the house. For those with older kids, You can get in on this too.

Have stuff around to read. tell your kids you saw a badass fat dancer on youtube and share it with them/ Have ender variant kids? Get on tumblr and find other gender variant kids.

These kids are so lucky, there are so many places around the internet where we can show them that they are not alone in whatever tis going on with their bodies.

Overall my advice to parents is to work on your issues so you don't pass them on to your kids.

If you spent 15 years being afraid to seek  treatment for mental illness, make sure your kids know if they need it, you will help them get it. Make your home a safe place to come out of the closet or play with gender presentation.

I believe that in addition to the basics it's important for more parents to make their homes a safe space. I'm not talking about being perfect. I'm talking about kids knowing that imperfect and confused or uncomfotable as a kid might be, they can come home and be loved no matter what. that is more difficult than ever teaching your kids to eat healthy or enjoy fitness.

Parents you are just as lucky. There are more free and readily available resources for you to learn about things like gender variance, dysmporphia, Queerness, fatness, etc

Also please remember parents sometimes you are going to royally fuck up. Sometimes it will be major and you might be apologizing for years or it might not be a big dal. If you realize you screwed up say you're sorry and mean it. Remember to take care of yourself.

If that means you need therapy or a time out or a babysitter for an hour so you can take a bath and havr a poop in peace.

I have faith in you parents. I am heavily invested in your kids being okay. I want them to go forth into the world being amaznig human beings and I am willing to help in what ways I can. And parents I want you to be okay too. I want you and I to get really old and smile while your kids do great and beauiful thngs.

Anon I have to tell you that I have the smartest most awesome readers in the world so I turn it over to you homies. Do y'all have any advice? Stories from your own childhoods or parental foibles?

Homo Out.
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Monday, July 01, 2013

Hello Again Fatosphere.

So hey Fatosphere homies, welcome back. Or welcome as the case may be.

If you haven't followed me forever I was on the Fatosphere feed years ago, around when it started up and fell off for reasons.

However I have been informed I am returned, so hello and hello.

Quickly.

Now how about a sort of intro.

As you can see via my profile I'm Shannon. Right now I'm a small fat person. I've been way fatter and way smaller. It doesn't really change anything but my pants size.

I am very Queer. Very not in the closet about it.

I am not nice. Let me be plain here and let y'all know that there are things I don't do here anymore:


  1. Anti racism 101. I just don't.
  2. Fat/Body politics 101.
  3. Any sort of 101.
Let me be even more plain. 

A lot of what I talk about is next level shit. This is full immersion intersectionality. White folks there are going to be days you're going to be really uncomfortable and that is just too bad. You will have to figure that out because I won't hold your hand through it.

One of you new folks was curious about the term Death Fat.

Lesley Kinzel whom you can read at XOjane coined the term for people in the Mortally obese or really really fat category. 

Let's talk about that for a moment.

If your flavor of FA does not extend to and sometimes exclusively deal with people who are above a size 24 or who are really fucking fat, you are not doing it right. Period point blank.

What else?

Oh I should warn you I do not and will not self identify as a feminist which I discussed at length which you can read here. Also understand that you will not talk me out of this so please don't try, I don't like it. It is a hard limit with strangers.

Um.

Oh also 99% of the things I talk about come from my personal lived life. I don't blog in depth about science, studies, papers, etc. If that is what you're looking for I'm certain other people do that far better than I do.

I think that's about all for right now. I have some posts in the works for this week. 

Outside of this little corner of the internet I'm also a writer of other things. You can check that out at my author website, find stories and my writing business blog. 

If you stick around I can't promise it'll always be pleasant but I can at least be entertaining.

Homo Out.

PS

Hey Homies, how is your self care going? I fell off the wagon a little bit but I am back on. I am well hydrated, have food and took my vitamins. Beatfreak? MCCN how are you homies doing?

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