So I'm posting this via email to see if I can use that until I migrate everything off of Blogger.
My other choice would be to just start over at blogger but I don't know if I want to pay for yet another domain name.
Okay moving it along.
So after talking to some people I found out a.) I'm not alone in my Intuitive Eating Frustration nd b.)I could have an actual medical problem.
I also realized that most of my feelings that day were due in part to my super fun n awesome 3 week menstrual cycle.
In thinking more about it I can see where my own inability to quite let go of the idea that it doesn't make me "good" to do these things well. It just helps my body not be freaking out.
I had one of those moments where I was like, okay well shit.
I already know that most of my body is very reactive to my emotional state. And normally if it is a bigger emotion (yes even happy) my appetite is fucked.
Now rather than my thought process immediately going to, okay jerk time to eat. My thoughts turn more towards, good/bad fatass dichotomy.
It was so buried under a lot of other shit I couldn't figure it out.
What amazes me more is just how pervasive that is. Instead of just taking care of myself, I get upset with myself.
How many of us do that?
It just makes me chucklea little bit. Shit this stuff is so damn hard.
As some of you kniw I'm busy rewriting my self care book and it occurs to me again that I not only am writing it for me because Gods know I need it. I'm writing it for you too. We all need it.
So I'm feeling less like a total failure and more like a regular human who does wrong shit sometimes and I am ready.
Even as I write this, I just realized I haven't eaten real food in a long time. I will do that in a minute.
So to wrap this up, here is the new intro to the self care book. Keep your eye out.
And per usual you can head here to buy some little stories or an essay from me on etsy.
Why are we here?
Here's the real poop. I wanted to do better. I put out v.1 of the self care book in a hurry. It came from a good place, I just wanted the message out there immediately and it as flawed.
I had so much more to say, more to do and so here we are my homies.
So let's go over some stuff before we get into the hard part.
First up, who is this for?
This guide is for the rest of us. It's for those of us who wouldn't line our litterboxes with what we shall call LadyMags (you know, those magazines that tell you things like, YOU GO GIRL but your thighs are awful and your vag stinks) and may not have vaginas or be the "woman" those magazines target.
It is for those of us for whom platitudes and advice to think positive make us want to hurl.
It is for us poor people.
It is for fat people.
It is for thin people.
If you: have eating disorders, mental illness, are non neurotypical, non gender conforming, for the confused, for parents, for people of color, for queer people, for straight people.
This is for us.
All. Of. Us.
Okay homo out.