Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Health help for a Super Fat Friend.


Homies we have important work to do today.

One of our new homies who is super fat wants some advice on relearning how to engage with their health outside of the OH SHIT FATASS U GONNA DIE thing.

Okay first thing I'm going to say to you my friend is be hydrated.

For at least ten years one of the few things I can do constantly and know immediately if I am not is drinking a lot of water.

If you aren't a huge water drinker start with one big glass and then drink two.

For me being hydrated even if I feel otherwise really shitty, helps a lot of things. My joints work better, my innards work better, my skin looks better, I am not as itchy as I can get. It helps overall.

Stretch. You don't have to go all full on yoga. But try doing a few little stretches (which you can do sitting down if you need to, search the youtubes) to loosen up. Sit up as straight as you can.

Now we get into what can be terrible territory.


Now let me remind you my friend you don't have to do shit. You do what makes you feel good.

For me the way I made friends with movement again was slowly and really fucking gently.

We all know I'm a big fan of doing a little dance. If I am upright chances are my ass is wiggling. It makes me happy. I express my happy like that. I do something great, victory dance. I manage to not spill my tea, victory dance. I get a tune in my head, my booty shakes.

That is what makes me feel good. I like doing a little bump n grind around the house. I bounce, I shake. It makes me happy.

For me thinking more in terms of what just makes me feel good- okay wait.

I really started thinking about this while watching dogs and babies.

It started with a neighbor boys pitbull Baby. I ran into them and Baby wagged her tail and hind end so hard she tipped over and then rolled on her back for a belly rub and she wriggled and made happy noises.

It tickled me.

And then babies.

Have you ever watched a baby have like a full body laugh/happy?

They wriggle, they flap and flail because they don't know how to control their arms yet.

And then I felt kind of jealous.

I wanted to remember how it feels to express my happy that way.

So I did.

And I do.

So I wiggle my ass. Sometimes while I am brushing my teeth I twerk a little bit. I hum and wiggle my butt. I can't twerk properly but I can do a thing with my thighs I like. Sometimes I do a little bellydance flavored shimmy.

it makes me happy.

I encourage you my friend to find some movement that makes you happy. Maybe you like walking in circles, maybe you like swinging your arms about, maybe you like sitting on the couch and kicking your feet.

The point here isn't necessarily fitness as an end goal but to show your body and your brain that movement doesn't have to make you feel like shit.

If you are too shy to get outside for dedicated exercise try this. Go to a farmer's market (this is presuming you don't have mega social anxiety) and stroll. Look at everything, ask folks questions about their super special tomatoes.

And remember. Even if you weren't fat someone would be looking at you and that is okay. It is also okay for that to make you nervous. The important thing is that you are dong your thing regardless of what anyone else is doing.

Wear comfy shoes. Wear an outfit that makes you feel good. Put your sunscreen on and do your thing.

Now those things are hard things to really take in.

There is a payoff my friend.

Once we start to figure out how to engage with our health on our own terms, things start to change.

For me that has meant I have to make peace with the size of my ass right now.

As much as I miss my fatter ass, that is not what's happening and I have to deal with it without letting myself sink into a big ole hate spiral.

It has meant that I have had to relearn a lot of stuff. I have had to relearn how to eat. I have to eat more in order to keep my weight stable and I have a hard time with that. I'm doing pretty well but it's really fucking hard and I get really frustrated.

I'm still struggling with not just giving in to my inside EXERCISE TIL YOU PUKE voice. I have to work really hard to make sure that I'm not being a total asshole to myself about exercise. My first instinct is often to push it until I break and my body doesn't like it.

So when my knees start to hurt I stop myself. I tell myself that while it's a great idea in theory to walk that extra mile, I just shouldn't do it.

I work at it.

Some days y'all, I fail. I am a total fucking asshole to myself and I want to dive head first into the self hate fueled diet and exercise thing. Sometimes it takes me a few days to pull myself out and remember that doesn't work.

I said it before and I will say it again.

Self hate and shame is not good for your health.

You cannot hate yourself into being healthy. That is a contradiction in terms.

What you can do is learn to care for your health and support your health in ways that don't stick to the hate yourself thin framework.

So my new friend let's start with just little things.

Be nicer to yourself in general.
Drink water.
Move around.

And let me also remind y'all that there is no magic bar of able bodiedness to engage with your health or movement.

If you can't shake you booty shake your toe. Blink, tap your fingers. Your body is great regardless of what you can do or how you need to do things differently.

Now I want everybody to give it a shot.

Try this stuff for two weeks. Or maybe a month.

You can do it. I believe in you.

In other news.


We're gettin ready to level up.

I am working on creating a simple graphic to put on stuff (cafepress stuff to start with) to be a little visual reminder about self care. I'm talking I want you to see it, and think Shannon said that shit about drinking some water so I'm gonna drink some water now.

I am also looking into moving blog services.

I'm probably going to install wordpress now that my hosting has made it simple. All I need to do is have some time and space to work it out. Most likely this here blog address will remain as an archive and we'll start fresh n tasty on wordpress.

AND thanks to more sales of the self care book, this here website has been paid for with my writing and that means everything to me.

Right now my goal is to sell the remaining 30 copies of the book I have listed (don't worry there will be more), get a new phone because my phone is aged and bordering useless and save the rest of my money for writer related business.

I also want to (when I relaunch here) make sure I keep the integrity of my space and make sure y'all still feel nice n welcome.

So that is the business.

And I turn it over to you guys. Do you have advice for our friend? Drop it in the comments like it's hot.

Homo Out.


Helena said...

As someone who is "death fat", I can tell you it has been a long hard road for me to come to terms with my body and my health. One of the easiest things I started doing was making a conscious effort of how I parked. I started parking one stop further down than I normally would. Then two. Then three. Now I park at the end of the lot and I walk the whole way to where I am going. The thing is to start really small so you don't get frustrated. Listen to your body and do what you are able. Move for 30 seconds. Next day add 30 seconds. Keep adding 30 seconds every day. It needs to be a slow process with anyone, regardless of body type or health or the like.

Just me Leah said...

Thank you so much for this post Shannon. It resonated with me deeply. I'm death fat too and disabled and struggle (more so than usual right now) with my heart which is FA to the core, and my head which is still caught up in unhealthy thoughts and habits.

I wish I was better at treating myself with the kindness I afford other people. I'm going to put some music on and shake what my mama gave me, as much as I can do.

jamie fritz said...

As a disabled deathfattie, my best advice would be to find something you love to do. Something that doesn't hurt. For me that was swimming. Shannon you give good advice that no matter what someone will be looking at you. But the more you do it, the easier it gets.
Mostly love yourself as much as you can.

Sleepydumpling said...

Awesome post Shannon - but hey, aren't they always!

For our new friend, the best advice I can give is to do stuff with friends. Whether that is movement or eating or just self care (a massage, a manicure, a loll about on a beach or a park... that kind of thing.)

Nothing makes me feel better than spending time with friends. I surround myself with people who appreciate me and make me feel good about myself. Some friends I go for a walk with them and their dog. Others I go out for a proper breakfast (instead of not eating breakfast and then ending up with a migraine by lunch time). Another likes to go for pedicures with me. Not only do we do stuff that is good for us, but spending time with people is fun AND good for you.

And remember - it's always a process, even for those of us who have been doing this stuff for years.

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