Monday, July 28, 2014

Goodnight Dear Blog.

First let me say that I am not quitting blogging at all.

There will be more fatness, Blackness, fashion, make up and yammering just not here.

After over a thousand posts, almost 200 thousand page views, almost 2 thousand comments now it's time to do a new thing.

Basically here's what's goin' on.

My life as a writer has been changing, my needs are changing and my ideas about how I expend my energy are changing.

Also if I'm going to be super honest, I'm tired of doing a lot of work that other people are making money off of.

Real talk.

In the past two years specifically I can count at least ten occasions where my work has been used as a source, quoted or otherwise used without my permission or knowledge until it was sent to me or I found out on my own.

Most of those occasions are things people got paid for.

I did not get paid.

I did not get asked.

I got taken advantage of.

Not only did it make me feel taken advantage of, it hurt me. It hurt me emotionally and impacted my work in ways I can hardly even describe adequately.

It cost me money.

It made me cry.

It made me feel somehow both inadequate (not good enough to even be asked) but obviously good enough to be quoted and lifted from.

It reminded me in stark unavoidable detail that a lot of people who claim to be anti racist and inclusive don't actually give a fuck.

That people who FUCKING KNOW ME PERSONALLY don't value me, my work, my humanity or anything.

Honestly y'all, this is a case of a few bad apples ruining the barrel.

Writing here got to be really difficult as the increasing scarcity of posts might show you.

Then after some recent articles elsewhere, there was the problem of my question box being flooded with racialized hate mail.

I got very tired and very discouraged. I almost stopped trying to write non fiction elsewhere and stop blogging and even talking because y'all I was exhausted.

I felt fragile and exposed.

I felt like I was letting down all of you regulars who have been so kind to me over the years.

And then while I was talking to Uniballer about some crafty project or other, I decided to do something for myself.

As I am catapulting towards 40 I realized I am in flux and now is a good time to do a thing.

SO with that my darlings I want you to know I am moving my blogging to a more personal (as this spot was intended to be) spot where I feel like I can do the FA and the personal shit without the taint of feeling used.

I want to share more of my real life with the politics. Abandoning blogging all together would feel shitty. Blogging started me on the road to being brave enough to write non fiction. It showed me my voice.

Y'all have been so good to me. You bought me pants, you got me a little computer, you have encouraged me with love notes and listening and shutting the the fuck u when it was needed.

That in mind from today (I will schedule my first post for tomorrow) onwards you will find me at www.nudemuse.org

No more adult warning. No more blogger eating my posts. A brand new slate.

If you go there now, it's blank. I am getting stuff together. I am going to have special pages for beauty stuffs, fashion, links. If you want links to be included (even posts from here you find important) please let me know  in the comments.

If you don't want to follow me for more personal adventures that's okay too. Thank you for reading all these years.

With that, I say goodbye blogger.

If you'd like to read some of my latest non fiction you can check me out on LunaLuna talking race and feminism, I'm doin the self care thing over at XOjane on the regular. AND lastly you can read an essay about my epic failure to pee on a date right over here.

I love you homies and haters I really do.

Homo Out forever from blogger.
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2 comments:

Guyanese Sista said...

I'm a lurker coming out to say I support your move. Change is good. I'll be following you over on the new site.

wriggles said...

I hear you in so many ways!!!

Thank you so much for being here. I hope I've let you know how much your support has meant to me.

If I haven't I'm sorry. Now's the time! So best of luck and I'll be following you. ;-]

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